


The Last First

by i_write_shakespeare_not_disney



Series: Angsty/Fluffy/Smutty Klance One Shots from Tumblr [11]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: F/M, First Time, M/M, NSFW, One Night Stands, Stand Alone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-29
Updated: 2018-03-29
Packaged: 2019-04-14 11:36:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 22,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14135280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_write_shakespeare_not_disney/pseuds/i_write_shakespeare_not_disney
Summary: Lance had lost a lot of firsts. First kisses, first touches. He doesn't have much left, but he can still control what he's got. In fact, he can feel far more comfortable with himself in college than he's let himself feel before. Except that just leads to a series of laughably disastrous sex stories. Still, Lance comes to find that he'd forgotten all about a few other very important firsts, and he experiences those with the perfect person.





	The Last First

Being lonely and sad led to making terrible decisions. Adding alcohol to the mix didn’t help.

After years of being the oldest in the house, Lance grew up pretty quickly. He knew how to act silly around his siblings, and he was able to put on smiles and laugh to show he was okay. But that didn’t mean he was as carefree as he came across.

Living in a household of seven with a total income of 35,000 a year despite both parents working wasn’t easy. It meant hiding the fact that his family used food stamps from his friends, blushing and feeling anxious when he had to pull out the card at the small grocery store two blocks from his house because the people in line saw it. It meant becoming a dad figure with dad responsibilities before he even had an actual girlfriend or boyfriend. It meant coming home to help the kids with homework, to make sure _abuelita_ had taken her meds, to cook and then clean up before Mom and Dad came home, then helping with dinner. It meant studying and homework was put off until after midnight, making him the last to go to bed, and the first to wake up- even before his Papa most days.

So yes, Lance had looked forward to college for reasons that were a tiny bit selfish, but after so long being an adult, he just wanted his space. He wanted to act his age and have fun and not be afraid of getting caught doing something stupid or coming back to smaller, rounder faces pushing him to guilt.

College was going to be his time to find who he wanted to be for himself, his time to shine.

Except so far, it hasn’t been.

It was barely early November, but already Lance had spiraled into an unexpected bout of depression. He hadn’t even known he had that until he was left alone most of the time with no siblings to put on a happy face for. He’d been sleeping in lately, missing classes, sleeping through the day instead of doing homework. He’d been too tired to even continue his meetings with the recreational soccer group he joined in September.

His roommate asked him once if he was sick, and Lance just nodded because whether he was physically sick or mentally sick, he just wanted to be in bed. His roommate was a cool guy, he supposed. They weren’t really friends, but Lance didn’t hate living with the dude. He was clean, and he was hardly in the dorm. Especially on weekends.

Lance had finally decided to start on some homework when he saw his roommate getting ready that Friday night. He’d gone out the night before, and Lance was positive he’d go out the next night too. Hangovers were child’s play to this guy. Three of his roommate’s friends came up to the dorm, greeting Lance in passing before each pregaming a bit with some vodka his roommate had. Lance couldn’t help but let his eyes widen at the size of the fucking _jug_ of vodka.

Watching them made something bitter rise in Lance, something close to yearning and jealousy. His roommate grabbed his keys and his friends said bye to Lance, but before he could leave Lance called his name to stop him, eyeing the vodka.

“Hey. Uh, is it cool if I have some of that?”

His roommate shrugged and nodded. “Yeah, dude, no problem. See you later.” Lance smiled and nodded until the door shut.

Then his smile dropped and he was up to pour himself some of the vodka. Drinking when upset was a bad thing, Lance knew that, but he just wanted to be out of his head for a bit. He didn’t want to think about how he was letting his family down by falling behind. Or about how he still hadn’t made a friend in this place. Or how he hadn’t seen his family in two and a half months. Or how nobody was reaching out to him, wanting to go out on weekends and instead he was staying in a shitty dorm every fucking weekend with only Tinder for company.

Speaking of.

Lance pulled out his phone and played some music while he swiped through Tinder. The music made things a little worse because it reminded him of home and of all the things he had expected he’d be doing versus the reality. Like going out to dance and flirt with cute people with a group of friends. Having group outings to the mall while singing at the top of his lungs to the music on the radio. Finding a cute boyfriend or girlfriend who could dance to bachata.

He tossed back his cup and grimaced at the strength of the vodka burning his throat. He took a deep breath and went into his fridge to chase it down with a Coke. He spent about an hour like that, drinking a few gulps of vodka and chasing it down with soda while swiping through the dating app. It may have even made him swipe right on a few people he probably wouldn’t have in a less-depressed, less-drunk mindset.

After that, he felt himself get a little dizzy and he plopped on his bed, even more frustrated because now he was drunk and alone in his dorm on a Friday night. He was getting a few messages from strangers, which he replied to half-heartedly because he was lonely, but other than that, he was very much on the verge of another breakdown and possibly a vodka binge.

_Hey, long time no talk lol_

Lance clicked on the profile to remember who he had swiped on. The messages were old, but he’d sent another just to see if she was still interested. She was pretty. Definitely out of his league. Flora.

_Heeyyy. Whatsup? Sorry about that forgot I had this app_

Before Lance could close the screen, he saw the little dots telling him she was answering.

Before he knew it, he was half drunk, turned on by two pictures, and setting up a late-night meeting with this girl. She was at a nearby campus and while Lance wasn’t usually one for a one-night-stand, he was lonely, sad, and had enough alcohol in his system to not really care about the repercussions.

He ducked into the shower and took another shot of vodka, getting dressed in his favorite black button up and jeans. She texted him that she was in the parking lot- to top it off he didn’t have a car, but she seemed willing to get him and Lance was drunk enough not to feel embarrassed at the moment- and Lance was out of his room and tripping over himself to go meet her.

He saw her standing by her car in a pretty little dress, and her face seemed to light up at the sight of him.

“I’m not gonna lie, I was scared you were a catfish.”

“Why?” he asked with a breezy smile, forcing himself to focus.

She shrugged. “Seemed too good to be true? I don’t know. Where do you want to go?”

“Mm. Everything’s closed, but campus police does check cars, so not here.” She giggled and blushed, nodding as they got into the car. They’d agreed on a quick and simple make out session to placate both of their touch starved urges. Now they just needed a place to do it where roommates wouldn’t walk in.

“I think I saw a Walmart down the street?”

“Yeah, that works,” Lance said with a laugh. He was probably laughing too much, but oh well. She drove and Lance managed to pick up on a few details.

 She was an artist, she was from California, and she was a sophomore in college. She was rambling about a midterm by the time they parked in the lot and she turned to Lance nervously which was kind of adorable. “So…. Yeah.”

Lance, fueled with courage from her shyness and the vodka and the loneliness, put a hand to her cheek and murmured, “It sounds like you could use some relaxing then, huh?” She let out a breathy laugh and nodded. “Want me to help with that?” She bit her lip and nodded, the blush on her pale skin visible under the fluorescent lights of the parking lot.

Lance took off his seatbelt and pulled her into a kiss, not completely certain of what he was doing because it had been a while since he kissed someone, and he didn’t particularly like remembering that person and right now was _not_ a good time to remember them anyway. But Flora seemed okay. She pressed forward and pushed her hands into his hair and let out little whimpers that told Lance he was doing a good job.

She had one of those center glove compartments that folded up to be another seat, so she broke away long enough to move that and came up on her knees on the seat to kiss Lance harder. Lance did the things he was taught.

He held her waist, and bit her lip, ducked down to kiss her neck and focused on leaving hickeys there that left Flora panting and yanking him closer. She stumbled to straddle him and keep kissing him, following his lead and kissing his neck, but she preferred to bite which made Lance hold her tighter because yeah that was… that was good.

He opened his eyes, surprised to see that things were swaying slightly. His chest felt tight because despite not wanting to think much about the person that had taught him these things, he was thinking about every little teaching session to use on Flora.

Stupid fucking Rolan. Flirting with Lance throughout their drama class, pulling him backstage when the class was left unsupervised- which was most of the time- and coaxing Lance into giving him so many firsts. His first given and received hand job, given and received blowjob, first kiss, first dry-humping session (the last had been in the costume room). Only to pretend Lance didn’t exist outside of that class, outside of those unsupervised moments.

And Lance swore he was fine with that, because he didn’t like the guy anyway. But it still stung. Because those firsts weren’t his to take.

Lance had one first left. That was clear when Flora started rolling her hips against him, moaning as she kissed him and bit his lip. His jeans were growing tight, but even in his drunk stupor, he was careful not to push her, he was hesitant because part of him knew this was not the best way to have this first.

But what if someone came and tried to take that from him too? At least this way he had control over where his first was going. At least here it would be his choice, and not because of some peer pressure from an asshole with a big head or God forbid someone forcing Lance. Here, Flora seemed to want him, and if she told him she did, Lance would agree because at least Flora seemed nice, and he wanted this out of the way so no one could ever take this from him too.

Flora hiked her dress up and rolled her hips harder. “Can I touch you?” she breathed.

 _I don’t really care._ “Yeah.”

Her hand went down to his crotch and Lance moaned. She was inexperienced, but she seemed eager too. He touched her face again and her wide eyes settled on him. She smiled and kissed him again, undoing his jeans.

Lance lifted himself up and kicked his jeans off a little unceremoniously which made her laugh. She pulled down the zipper of her dress which was on her side and slipped out of it. She didn’t even have a bra on. Lance gulped and stared at her bare chest before looking up at her eyes. She looked nervous and shy.

“Whoa,” he breathed. “You okay?” She nodded and bit her lip. “You’re really beautiful,” Lance said gently, wanting her to feel comfortable even if he wasn’t completely sure _he_ was. She smiled and took his hands pressing them against her small, round breasts. It was new to Lance and he had no idea what he was doing, but he’d seen enough porn to have an idea so he supposed it was time to experiment.

She kissed him as his hands fumbled. Hers had gone to his shirt to unbutton it and he pulled his hands away so she could slip it off. She pushed her underwear down and Lance had to admit that his bare skin touching someone else’s bare skin felt kind of very weird. He was honestly scared to look down.

Her hand touched him again while he kissed her neck and when she tugged his boxers down, Lance figured it was a good thing he’d chosen to get rid of the last first with her.

He was a little late in realizing that she’d managed to sink down on him a few seconds later. She’d bitten down on his shoulder and had started lifting her hips, making Lance grunt. He ran his hands down her sides, partially wondering why people got so worked up over how great sex was because it wasn’t that big of a deal really.

Then he thought of how weird it was that his first time was in a car of all places.

Then he realized he wasn’t wearing a condom. But she knew that too… so maybe she was on a pill? Maybe she had a NuvaRing? He was a little too freaked out to ask now though. Besides, she seemed to really be enjoying herself on him.

After that, the alcohol really started to hit him.

He started missing chunks of time, finding himself having gone from holding her while she straddled him to laying her across the seats and ignoring the seatbelt buckle digging into his knee as she scratched down his back, to suddenly fucking her from behind while she held on to the door handle and gasped for _more, harder._

There was also a blow job in there somewhere, he was sure, but… also couldn’t place it?

Overall, car sex sucked. It was confined and uncomfortable.

Flora drove him back to his dorm when they stopped and kissed him one more time before he got out of the car. He made his way up to his room, feeling pretty proud of himself for tackling his first and not feeling all that different or guilty.

He was surprised to see his roommate was already back and in bed when he got to the dorm. He managed a hello before ducking into the bathroom to shower again because his body smelled of sweat and saliva and whatever perfume Flora wore. When he got out, he noticed the bite marks on his shoulder and felt his heart sink.

That really happened. And it wasn’t that great.

The next morning, Lance woke up to vomit whatever was left of the vodka in his stomach and felt the crushing weight of the night before. He wasn’t particularly upset about having had sex more than he was about the fact that he had no idea if there was even any protection. He started panicking, wondering if Flora would contact him in a month to tell him she was…. Oh God, how the hell would he explain that?

Two months passed, and he never heard anything about it.

***

Things were better. Lance felt better about where he was in school after having survived his freshman year. He made a friend who was now his roommate- Hunk- and another friend that lived in an apartment nearby named Pidge (actually Katie, but she liked the nickname Pidge. It wasn’t surprising in comparison to Lance’s neighbor who introduced herself as Mermaid?).

They’d met second semester the year before, once Lance was in a better headspace, and by the time they made it to their sophomore year, they were inseparable.

Lance had reactivated his Tinder just to get himself out there a little more now that he was more comfortable with himself and had also managed to indulge in some male crushes (one person was genderfluid, but they ended up in a relationship, so Lance was out of the running there). Pidge and Hunk were giving him the thumbs up or thumbs down when he showed them profiles.

“What exactly are you looking for here?” Pidge asked. “A date? A one night stand? A fuck buddy?”

Lance hummed and shrugged. “I dunno. I don’t really want to date because right now it’s just… not something I want. Flirting is fun. I wouldn’t mind a one night stand I guess. Is that a bad thing to say?”

“Own your sexuality, my dude,” Pidge said with a shrug. “People can like sex and not be sluts or whatever. It’s just fun. Plus you’re a dude, so I doubt you need to worry much.”

“Maybe not socially, but personally I do.”

Pidge nodded in understanding. Hunk turned to her and tilted his head. “I thought you were a virgin.”

“I am, but I can still advocate for safe, fun sex that’s not restricted to dating.”

Hunk hummed and nodded. He looked at the photo Lance pulled up and nodded. “He’s cute for a fuck and go. Swipe right.”

“Seconded,” Pidge added. Lance nodded and swiped. Sweet. A match. “Are you straight Hunk?” Pidge asked.

“As far as I know, yeah. It’s just fun to suggest guys for Lance.” Pidge nodded as she thumbed down some girl Lance showed them. “We’re weird friends. I can’t believe we spend our Sunday afternoon helping Lance choose one night stands.”

“I’d do it for you guys!” Lance protested. They laughed and nodded, shaking their heads at the next profile Lance showed them.

Lance was really happy he had such good friends.

A few weeks later, Lance was sprawled out on the floor, stuffing his face with Twizzlers as Hunk and Pidge listened to him ramble about a girl he liked the year before who was now dating some fuckboy, manbun wearing hipster.

“Isn’t she the one that never gave you a straight answer on that date?” Pidge asked.

“Yeah?”

“Fuck her!”

“I wanted to!”

“ _Not like that you horndog,”_ she chided. “I just mean, you don’t need her.”

“I think Lance is just sexually frustrated. He doesn’t want to date, but he likes flirting. Have any of the Tinder people messaged you?” Hunk asked.

Lance shrugged and gave him his phone. “Yeah, but I mean. I’m busy all the time. Plus you’re always here and I’m sorry but it’s weird to have sex in my room if I know you’re home.”

“I don’t think I’d be able to hear these walls are really thick, and there’s a bathroom between our rooms.”

“Let’s test it!” Lance got up and ran to his room while Hunk ran to his. Lance climbed onto his bed and started jumping. “Hey Hunk! Can you hear me?” he shouted. He started making the lewdest noises and heard Pidge laugh from the living room. He hopped off and opened his door. “Hunk, were you shouting?”

“Yes! Did you not hear me?”

“No.”

“I heard everything. That was fucking funny,” Pidge laughed. “Okay, so we’ve established that you can in fact have sex in your rooms without disrupting each other. Now what?”

“Now, I find a worthy candidate,” Lance said with a smirk.

And he did. By the following weekend, he’d managed to find someone willing to go to his apartment that was nice to look at and seemed eager to get into his pants. It was a guy named Logan with an impressive six pack, and biceps that Lance imagined would feel nice around him.

For most of the weekend, Lance kept going back and forth on whether he should actually get this guy in his house. He was torn between being insanely horny in the day time and wanting him over that night, to feeling guilty and ignoring his messages when nighttime actually came around.

“Okay, Lance. Do you want to get laid?” Hunk asked when he saw Lance staring at his phone.

“Yeah?”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. Yes. I do.”

“Okay. Then get that guy to come over. It’s safer anyway because it’s an environment you’re used to. And if anything, just shoot me a text or like bang really hard on the wall and I’ll help you out of the situation. But give it a shot if you want.”

Lance sighed and nodded. “Yeah. Yeah. I need to get rid of this urge, man. I’ve resorted to reading the fanfiction Pidge sends me.”

Hunk laughed and whistled. “Yeah some of those are…. Wow.” Lance raised an eyebrow. “She read one out loud to me once. Weirdest experience I’ve ever had.”

Lance laughed and shook his head. Then he sent Logan a message with the address. The reply was quick and enthusiastic. Lance looked over at Hunk and huffed. “Should I dress up for this? I don’t really have… sexy clothes.”

“You could answer the door shirtless?”

“Ooh, good idea!”

For about fifteen minutes, Lance and Hunk watched Netlfix. Then there was a knock on the door.

“I’ll… be in my room,” Hunk said with a smirk.

Lance blushed but ignored him as he went to answer the door. He felt his breath hitch at the sight of the guy. He was taller than Lance, which didn’t usually happen. He was dressed nicely and he had a killer fucking smile. Very nice choice.

“Hey. Come in.”

Logan smiled and walked into the apartment, looking Lance up and down before looking at the apartment. “How’s your night so far?” Oh my God, oh my God he had a British accent?

“Uh… boring, I guess,” Lance said nervously. “Yours?”

The guy smirked and stepped closer to him. “I think it’s about to get way better.”

Lance couldn’t find his voice at that. He just bit his lip and led the guy to his room. “Um. So this is my room. It’s not much, but… yeah.”

Logan nodded and looked around. “You like reading?”

“Sometimes. These are just some of my favorites. I actually had to read a few for like English classes, but I ended up really liking them.” Logan nodded and scanned the book covers. Lance went to sit on his bed and watched as Logan scanned his room before his eyes settled on Lance. “Whatcha lookin’ at?”

Logan smirked and ignored the question. “You speak Spanish?” he asked, gesturing to the Cuban flag on Lance’s door. Lance nodded. “Cool.”

He felt his heart pound when Logan got closer to him, his hands sliding up his legs. Lance had worn shorts too. Lance bit his lip and tilted Logan’s face up to him, raising an eyebrow. Logan smiled, seeming a little nervous himself which was kind of heartwarming from someone so ridiculously attractive.

Then he kissed him.

Kisses weren’t all that exciting either, at least for Lance. He wasn’t sure if they never were, or if it was just because he’d never kissed someone he had feelings for. But it was a fun pastime, he supposed.

Besides, now Logan was leaning down onto him, making Lance lay back and groan as his hips grinded down. Logan sat up to remove his shirt and Lance held back a whimper at the sight. His lips pressed to Lance’s chest, leaving a trail of kisses down his torso until he was pulling down Lance’s basketball shorts.

“Have you done this before?” Logan asked softly.

“Not with a guy,” he admitted.

Logan nodded and pulled out a tiny cylindrical tube. He pumped out something clear and went straight to Lance’s ass, catching him by surprise. It felt weird. So fucking weird. But that was fine. It’d feel better in a bit, he knew that.

Logan used his other hand to caress Lance’s torso, looking from where his fingers tried to work him open to Lance’s face. Lance figured if he didn’t want to discourage Logan, he should probably look like he was enjoying this. Which he sort of was… the touches were nice. Whatever.

He started moaning, forcing his breaths to come quicker, and it obviously helped, because Logan moved a little more surely and added more lube for the second finger.

And that’s when it stung and Lance had to turn his head and pray his wince of pain could pass for a wince of pleasure. It wasn’t horribly painful, just…. He wasn’t sure how Logan’s dick was supposed to fit if two fingers barely could. Lance kept up his moaning show, slowly getting used to the feeling. The sting started to go away. Another finger and the cycle started all over again.

Logan shuffled out of his jeans and boxersand seeing another guy’s real erection gave Lance whiplash. Logan coated himself, and Lance briefly wondered _Aren’t we supposed to use condoms?_

But Logan seemed excited and he kissed Lance and pressed his tip against him so Lance just didn’t say anything. It wasn’t like he could get pregnant anyway.

Then he pushed in and Lance stifled a gasp against Logan’s shoulder. “Oh fuck, you’re so hot,” Logan grunted.

Lance ignored the comment because it was kind of weird and he really didn’t feel hot sprawled out like this and biting back whimpers because that was a very tight fit and not in a good way. Lance had seen enough porn and read enough smutty fanfics to know he what to say to encourage him.

“You feel so good.”

Logan sucked on his neck and that felt pretty nice, so Lance focused on that. Logan started thrusting and after a little bit of fake moaning, it stopped stinging so much and Lance was able to feel a little better. Logan was slow, which was nice for romance but Lance hadn’t gotten him here for romance.

“Faster,” he commanded.

Logan obliged, but not for long. Lance wasn’t sure if it was because he was tired or if it was some weird technique to tease Lance, but Lance wasn’t really getting anywhere anyway. He fumbled to flip them over and felt a little satisfaction in the surprised little grunt that Logan made when Lance straddled him and pushed down. It wasn’t bad, but… it also wasn’t good.

Lance took charge of the speed, watching as Logan tilted his head back and opened his eyes to take Lance in, running his hands up and down his thighs.

Lance was chasing after something he wasn’t totally sure he’d manage to get. Every now and then, he’d get a spark of that possibility, but he’d lose it, and it made him even more frustrated. Logan pulled him down and kissed him hard, turning them over to thrust into Lance a little harder and faster than before, which was actually pretty good for a while before it also lost its spark.

“Oh fuck. Say something in Spanish.”

“What?” Lance choked through his heavy breaths.

“Talk. In Spanish,” Logan said again, grunting. “So hot.”

Oh for fuck’s sake. A language fetish? Lance fought the urge to shove Logan off. “Do you know Spanish?” Logan shook his head, urging Lance to speak it again. “ _Mas recio, papi, mas.”_ Lance said, managing to fake enough interest. Logan actually shuddered and sucked harder against his neck. Lance smirked and ran his hands through Logan’s hair, putting on his best whiny voice. “ _Ay mensito ni sabes que no puedes coger bien, pinche güero ni sabes que te estoy insultando.”_ Lance faked a particularly loud moan.

“Oh, fuck yes, fuck, _fuck._ That’s so hot.”

Lance rolled his eyes at the ceiling and tried not to yawn, sporadically moaning and grunting. His mind drifted to the fanfics Pidge sent him and he wondered why they couldn’t try something like that, particularly that one where they used sensory deprivation and- oh! Oh, that memory did something. Wow. The memory of a story turned him on more than actually getting fucked.

Lance wasn’t sure what to do about that.

“I’m so close,” Logan grunted.

 _Jesus please do, finish and get the hell out of my house,_ Lance thought to himself. Finally, Logan slipped out of him and jacked himself off until he finished on Lance’s stomach much to Lance’s disgust and dismay.

“God that was so good,” Logan groaned.

“Mm. Yeah. I’m gonna go clean this off. Your jeans fell to the floor.” Lance stood up, not waiting for a response before grabbing his own clothes and rushing into the bathroom to clean himself off enough to get the guy out so he could take a very hot shower.

He went back to his room and left the door open, plastering on a fake smile.

“What were you saying in Spanish by the way?”

Lance smiled. “To fuck me harder because you felt so good and so big in me,” he lied.

Logan bit his lip and kissed Lance which was weird because once the sex is done one night stands don’t kiss. Especially when said one night stand fucking sucked. “Fuck, that makes me want to do that to you all over again.”

Lance laughed, hoping to hide his lack of enthusiasm. “Ah, I would, but I actually have to be up early tomorrow.”

Logan nodded in understanding. Lance really couldn’t get him out fast enough. When he managed to get him out the door, Logan smiled and said, “I hope I see you again.”

“Yeah, me too,” Lance lied, shutting the door right after. He groaned and went to the bathroom to shower. When he got out, he saw a text from Hunk.

_So how waaaaaas it?_

And one from Pidge.

_YOU FUCKING ASSWIPE YOU DIDN’T TELL ME YOU WERE GETTING LAID GIMME THE DETAILSSSSS._

He told Pidge to come over and knocked on Hunk’s bedroom door to get him out.

“Uh oh. You don’t look blissed out,” he noted. Lance scoffed.

A few moments later, there was rapid knocking at his door and he let Pidge in. “So? How was the much anticipated guilt-free sex?”

“It was so bad, you guys.” They gasped and sat on the couch, munching on a bag of chips Hunk had left earlier that night when they were eating pizza. Lance started explaining the events, the promise and then the disappointment.

“Oh man, he fetishized you for being Latino?” Pidge asked with a grimace. Lance nodded.

“What did you say to him in Spanish then?”

“At first I did fake some bullshit, like ‘yeah, harder,’ but he really had no idea what I was saying so…. I said something like, ‘Wow you dumbass you don’t even know that you suck and fucking and I’m just insulting you.’”

Hunk and Pidge’s mouths hung open and they burst into laughter. “Oh my God, Lance!”

Lance laughed with them, because yeah he was pretty proud of that. “I think he thought he was actually good, so… I don’t know man.”

“Do you think it sucked more because you’re a top and not a bottom?”

Lance shrugged. “I mean, maybe. I mean I had sex with a girl once, and it wasn’t that great either. Felt better than this though, so maybe. I don’t know.”

“I’m sorry you had a shitty lay, buddy,” Hunk said sympathetically.

“I still can’t believe you got off to fanfiction more than actual sex,” Pidge giggled. Lance threw a pillow at her. “Aw relax. The next time you fuck someone, I’m sure it’ll be better.

***

Spoiler alert: it wasn’t. The next time Lance slept with someone was about a month or two later before winter break. He had a neighbor that lived on the floor above him who always said hi when he saw Lance around campus, and…. Well he was Pidge’s brother.

Which yes was a horrible idea to begin with, but it wasn’t like Matt was necessarily Lance’s number one choice. Matt had just gotten out of a relationship, so he was pretty frustrated and he was sometimes over at Lance’s apartment because Pidge was usually there too. So yeah, Lance saw him pretty often.

And yeah, Matt was pretty cute. Very cute. And surprisingly buff.

 _And_ to be fair, it only happened because they both wanted to get back at the asshole neighbors they both shared which had loud sex every weekend and woke them both up at 4 am because of it. It was just a joke…. At least at first.

Lance had simply sent him a text that said, _Did the Porn Stars wake you up last night too?_

_Yep. I pounded the wall so hard I left a dent_

_Omfg! Dude!_

_I was sleepy!_

_You should get back at them with your own loud sex._

Lance hadn’t really realized he was flirting. Or he did and just didn’t want to admit it because it was Pidge’s older brother.

_I should, but I’d need someone willing to do it with me._

_Shouldn’t be hard ur pretty cute_

_You’d be surprised…. Also thanks aha_

Lance bit his lip and figured he needed to stop testing the waters and just cannonball into the ocean of shitty life choices.

_I’m down if you are._

He couldn’t stop staring at his phone waiting on a reply. Then-

_I’m free tonight?_

Which was pretty great because Hunk was studying for a test at the library, Pidge was probably with him, and Matt’s place had a giant TV to watch Netflix on.

So at around ten that night, Lance made his way upstairs to the second floor, glared at the apartment from which the sex noises always came from, and then knocked on Matt’s door. He smiled when Matt answered the door and was ushered in.

“Hey! I was just binging Stranger Things before season 2 comes out tonight. Want to watch for a bit?”

“Hell yeah, I love that show.” Matt smiled and they sat on the couch. They watched a full episode then started the next before Lance felt Matt’s hand tracing his hipbone under his shirt. “You’re sneaky.”

Matt laughed and leaned into him in a very couple-y gesture, planting soft kisses against his shoulder. “Before we do this,” he started. Lance turned to look at him, hating that he was so touch starved he was already getting hard. “I’m not looking for a relationship. I kind of just want to do this as friends every now and then.”

“Yeah, I’m not looking for a relationship either. I’m down for a friends with benefits thing. Also… Pidge can’t know. I think she’d cut my dick off.”

Matt snorted and nodded. “Agreed. Same here. So we’re good?” Lance nodded. “Cool.” Then Matt leaned forward and kissed him, laying him against the couch, their legs intertwined. “Are you a top or a bottom?”

Lance hummed and bit his lip sheepishly. “I bottomed once and didn’t like it. But I’ve never topped before except with a girl, so….”

Matt nodded. “I can walk you through it. Come on.” He stood up and pulled Lance to his room. Lance vaguely wondered if they should pause the show, but they’d both seen the first season already, so he supposed it didn’t matter too much. He followed Matt into his room and saw Matt holding up a packet. “This is for you.”

Fucking finally. A condom. This was already off to a better start.

Matt did walk him through what to do. And he was very… responsive. Before Lance could even do more than finger him, Matt was a mess and it was simultaneously cute and… weird? Lance wasn’t all that sure about what he was doing and he was half scared Matt was faking, but he couldn’t see any signs of pretend in his face.

He also came to the very disturbing realization that Matt looked so very similar to his sister…. Which made Lance turned him onto his stomach because he was _not_ going to deal with that image.

Once Matt gave him the okay to go in, Lance had barely managed a few slow thrusts before Matt was blabbering for more and gripping the headboard. Lance simply did as he was told, satisfied with the way the bedframe banged against the wall, because he really did hope it annoyed the neighbors.

Just as he was feeling the warmth pool in his gut, Matt clenched around him and came. Lance kept going which Matt seemed to enjoy for a bit before protesting because he was too sensitive. Matt was his friend, and he really didn’t want Matt feeling bad for finishing early or not letting Lance finish, so… Lance faked it.

He went to throw the condom away while Matt regained himself and came back to find him laying there still, staring at the ceiling.

“Are you okay?”

Matt looked at him and smiled sheepishly. “Yeah. It’s just…. I’ve been wanting to do that for so long. But at the same time…. I just fucked my sister’s best friend.”

Lance grimaced and bit his lip. “Yeah…. I don’t think it’d be a good idea to do this again.” Matt nodded and groaned, hiding his face in his pillow. “Hey,” Lance said gently, running his hand through Matt’s hair. “It’s cool. We can still watch Stranger Things and binge-eat popcorn. Yeah?”

Matt peeked up at him and smiled. “That sounds good. Let’s get dressed.”

And just for the record, when Lance went to rewind the show to where they left off, it hadn’t been more than ten minutes.

Later, after they finished season 1, Lance went back to his apartment and sat on the couch feeling a mixture of guilt, frustration, and sadness.

When Hunk came back in, someone else was with him, but he wasn’t paying attention to who. He just knew it wasn’t Pidge. God, how was he supposed to face her? Could he really hide this from her for the rest of their lives? It felt wrong.

“Lance? You okay, buddy?”

“I did a stupid thing,” he mumbled.

“Uh… I’ll be in the bathroom,” his guest said. Lance looked up to see an Asian guy with messy black hair awkwardly walking to the bathroom.

“Who the hell is that?”

“Keith. He’s in my physics lecture. We were studying and he missed the last bus to the hotels.” Lance raised an eyebrow. “You know, the students that were supposed to be in the dorm hall that’s _still_ being built? They got placed in hotels and a few leftover apartments.”

“Oh.”

“So, what’s up? What happened?”

“I can tell you tomorrow. I don’t want your friend being stuck in the bathroom.”

“Lance you’re kind of scaring me. What’s wrong?”

Lance bit his lip and hid his face. “I had sex with Matt.”

Silence. Then, “You- Wait, you- What? When? Pidge’s Matt?”

“Yes! Tonight. Like… a few hours ago. I don’t know it was so stupid, and I mean, it’s not happening again, but… I don’t know if I should tell Pidge or not. Telling her would feel wrong and not telling her feels wrong too, so…. Fuck. I don’t… God I’m an idiot.”

“Okay, easy,” Hunk said calmly.

“Uh, out of curiosity,” came a muffled voice from the bathroom. “Are you talking about Matt Holt?”

Lance stared at Hunk and gestured at the bathroom with a _what the fuck_ look. The door opened and Keith tilted his head curiously. “How do you know him?” Hunk asked.

“I had him for computer science last year. He kept me from failing because I had no clue what was going on. He’s pretty cute. Nice job.”

“No! Not nice job! That’s one of my best friend’s brother!”

“Pidge, she was just with us,” Hunk explained.

“I knew she looked familiar,” Keith mused. “Well, if you feel so shitty, why’d you do it?”

“Excuse me?”

Keith sat down and Lance had half a mind to tell him to get the hell off his furniture. “You knew he was her brother before you slept with him, I’m assuming.” Lance remained silent. “So why’d you sleep with him? Are you some kind of masochist that gets off on feeling guilty?”

“Who the hell are you?” Lance snapped.

“I think the problem is the fact that Lance can’t get off.”

“ _Hunk!”_

Keith snorted and looked at Hunk curiously. “What? What do you mean?”

Lance sighed and figured he should explain himself before Hunk threw him under the bus. “I’ve slept with like three people now, and none of them were good.”

“All guys? Top, bottom?”

Lance grimaced and rolled his eyes. “First with a girl. Second I bottomed. Tonight… I topped.”

“Matt Holt… a bottom. Who’d have thought?” Hunk mused.

Keith scoffed. “I could’ve told you that.” Lance’s eyes widened. “I didn’t sleep with him, he just… he’s an obvious bottom. It’s like a sixth sense for me.”

“Whatever, the point is…. The people I’ve slept with haven’t managed to get me off, so yeah, I’m a little frustrated. I figured if I topped tonight with a friend I was comfortable communicating with it wouldn’t be so bad. But the guy barely lasted and I… I faked it. But the important thing here isn’t the shitty sex, it’s the fact that he’s Pidge’s brother!” Lance yanked at his hair and shook his head. “God, am I so horny that I’d lose a friend over this?”

“I don’t think you’ll lose Pidge over this, Lance,” Hunk said gently.

“Plus being horny isn’t an excuse, so….”

“Seriously, who the hell are you?” Lance repeated. Keith rolled his eyes and lifted his palms in a surrendering gesture. “I have to tell Pidge, right?” Hunk bit his lip and nodded. “Matt didn’t want to, but… I don’t think I can handle not telling her. Even if she hates me for it.”

“She might get mad, but she won’t hate you, Lance.”

“Here’s hoping.”

\--

It took Lance a few days to build up the courage to talk to Pidge. And maybe it was in his head, but he could’ve sworn she just _knew_ because she wasn’t coming over as often and she barely said more than one word in the group chat. Maybe that was his guilt making him read into things, but it didn’t help the sick feeling in his stomach.

He ran into her at the laundry room the apartments shared and she gave him a smile, but it seemed pretty half-hearted. It hurt to feel ignored by her, but he couldn’t drag this out.

“Pidge, I need to talk to you.”

She raised an eyebrow and put down her book. “What’s up?”

He took a breath and sat down, making sure there wasn’t anything she could throw at him nearby. Aside from her book, he was safe. “Um. I did something kind of stupid. Very stupid. Mostly stupid because it makes me a shitty friend.”

“What did you do?” she asked.

Lance shut his eyes, but the he opened them and forced himself to look Pidge in the eyes. It was bad enough he went behind her back, he couldn’t be such a coward that he couldn’t even look at her. “I…. I…. Look, you have every right to get mad, okay, but…. You should know right now, I’m really sorry for this, and I would do anything to-”

“Lance, what the fuck did you do?” she asked, crossing her arms.

He gulped and took a breath. “I had sex with your brother.”

Surprisingly, Pidge didn’t raise hell. She didn’t throw something at him. She didn’t curse him out. She just huffed and slumped in her chair. “I thought you were never gonna tell me. I was giving you a week before I cut you off.”

“W-What?”

She sighed and grabbed her book again. “Matt told me the next morning. He was feeling pretty shitty too. But you never said anything and…. Look, my brother’s an adult. He makes his own choices. I love you both to bits, and I don’t really know what I’d have done if you hurt one or the other. I’m not mad you did it, but... if you both thought it was gonna upset me, why’d you still do it?”

Lance shrugged. “I guess I felt really lonely. I’m prone to doing stupid things when I’m lonely. I’m really sorry, Pidge. I wanted to tell you before, but I was so scared you’d hate me.”

“You’re an idiot if you thought I’d hate you. But seriously, Matt?” Lance shrugged and blushed. “Is it gonna become a thing now that you both told me?”

“No. No, no, no.” Pidge raised an eyebrow. “It’s way too weird. Besides, I have enough guilt from it to last me for a while.”

Right then, the door to the laundry room opened and Matt came in with a basket. “Oh hey, guys.”

“ _Carajo,”_ Lance mumbled under his breath.

Pidge laughed and shook her head. “Hey, Matt. I thought you did laundry on Saturdays.”

Matt looked over at Lance for a second then shrugged. “I didn’t get a chance,” he mumbled.

“Okay, I’m gonna go find food, bye!” Lance said, standing up to hightail the fuck out of there. Meanwhile, Pidge was dying of laughter and indulging in the small victory of making them uncomfortable.

***

It was finally spring. After two weeks of cloudy, rainy, cold weather, the sun was out and there was a nice breeze. Everyone on campus seemed to be enjoying it.

“Finally some fucking sun,” Lance said stretching happily along Pidge’s blanket where they laid it on the grass.

“Yeah the excitement of that is gonna dissipate when we start hitting the high 80s,” Keith said as he sat across from him, typing away on his computer.

“Stop being a buzzkill, asshole.” Keith flicked a crumb of a cookie at him.

“Stop that, I worked hard on those for you to be throwing them at Lance,” Hunk complained. “Come on quiz me one more time, Pidge.”

“Okay, but let’s do it on the way to class, because we’re gonna be late. Lance, can you take my blanket back to your place?”

Lance nodded and wished them luck in class as they left. He put his hands behind his head and basked in the sunlight. “Hey, Keith?”

“What?”

“Can you give me some of that cookie?” He opened his mouth without opening his eyes. Something dropped into his mouth and he chewed, grimacing at the lack of sugar. “That’s not a cookie!” he complained, opening his eyes.

“Nope. It’s a sandwich. Get your own fucking cookie.”

Lance stuck his tongue out at Keith and grabbed a cookie from the Tupperware Hunk brought them. “Do you ever get tired of wearing black? I mean seriously, nice weather and you still wear black shirts or jeans.”

“Black goes with everything, and it’s the one color you can’t see sweat through. So no, I don’t get tired of wearing it.” Lance huffed and rolled his eyes, shutting them again. “Hey, you know that guy?” Lance opened his eyes and sat up to look at where Keith was gesturing. “Did you ever have him as a TA or classmate?”

“Mm. No. But I’ve seen him around campus. I thought he was a professor. Why?”

Keith shook his head and smirked. “I had him as a TA last year spring semester. That guy had me looking up if TA/student relationships were legal.”

Lance looked at the guy again. Buff, big smile, also Asian, short but messy black hair. “Yeah, he’s cute. Did you ever manage to…?”

Keith scoffed. “No. He’s unreachable. Plus I think he has a girlfriend.” Keith shrugged. “You never had a TA you’d have wanted to mess around with?”

Lance exaggerated a grimace and laid back down. “Dude, with my sexual history, I’m not exactly jumping at the idea of fucking someone again.”

“Oh come on,” Keith answered. “You just need someone who actually knows what he’s doing.” _He?_ “Alright, explain. What were these times all like?”

Lance sighed and sat up again, explaining his experiences, starting with Rolan. He tried keeping it all short and to the point, and by the end, the playful glint in Keith’s eyes had disappeared. He looked a lot more serious.

“That sounds sucky.” Lance nodded. “First of all… being coerced is never fun. Peer pressure or whatever…. It’s shitty, and it sucks that a lot of your experience started there. And… being drunk isn’t really ideal with a stranger. The first guy sounded selfish. A decent fuck buddy pays attention to you and what makes you feel good.”

“Yeah, let me know when you find someone that decent.”

“You’re that decent.” Lance looked at him in confusion. “Each time you just told me… you always made sure the other person was comfortable or confident. You….” He leaned in and lowered his voice. “You faked an orgasm to keep your friend from feeling bad. But you need to be comfortable too.”

“Yeah, I guess. It’ll happen eventually. It’s just not really a priority right now. Right now, I just really want to go home. My sister got to regionals in history fair and she’s super psyched.” Lance went on to tell Keith about home and his family, passing the time until Hunk and Pidge came back and found them in the same spot.

\--BREAK--

Keith had been seamlessly integrated into their friend group. After spring break, Hunk, Pidge, Matt, Keith, and Lance had all decided to have a giant sleep over where they basically binged Netflix, baked lots of cake and cookies to eat, and played stupid party games like Cards Against Humanity or Fibbage or something.

So far, Lance had won the most amount of game rounds overall, and he was fueled with victorious energy. But after about 3 a.m, the group settled to watch television. Everyone was so full and tired, it hadn’t been long before Matt curled up on the floor and Hunk fell asleep with Pidge in his arms, though she was still awake. Keith was nodding off too, and Lance nudged his arm.

“You wanna use my lap as a pillow? I don’t mind.”

“Sure,” Keith yawned, twisting over to rest his head on Lance’s legs and promptly falling asleep.

Lance snorted and looked back at the television. Before long, he was falling asleep too, letting his head rest against the back of the couch.

The next morning, he woke up to Keith shaking him awake.

“Wha- ow!” He rubbed his neck and grimaced. “What happened? Where’s everyone at?”

“Matt went with Pidge to buy breakfast. Hunk’s in the shower. You are impossible to wake up.” Lance grumbled and sat up. “Hey, you wanna go to a club tonight?”

“Sure?”

“Cool, I need you to help me convince Mr. and Mrs. Study Till You Die.”

“Mr. and Mrs.? Hunk and Pidge?” Keith nodded. “Uh, okay,” he said with a chuckle. “Which club?”

“I’d say any, but I’m personally more comfortable with a gay one where I know girls won’t be trying to grind on me.”

Lance snorted then patted his shoulder. “I gotcha, bud.”

Later when Hunk was dressed and Pidge and Matt returned with food, they started eating. Keith nudged Lance’s foot and Lance tried to shoot him a _be patient for fuck’s sake_ look. Keith nudged him again, so he figured it didn’t work.

“I wanna go dancing, guys.”

“So go dancing,” Pidge said.

“Let me rephrase. I want to go dancing with my friends. Cough, cough.”

“I’ve got an essay I need to finish, I can’t get trashed tonight-”

“Hunk, my man, let me stop you right there. Going out to dance doesn’t mean you need to get trashed. It’s actually way more fun if you don’t. Way more coordination.” Pidge and Hunk shared a look. “Come on, guys. You can take a break to binge American Horror Story, but not take four hours to dance with me?”

“I dunno, I mean you can fuck my brother and not tell me for four days?” Pidge retaliated. Matt choked on his juice.

“Okay, can’t guilt Pidge, duly noted. Come on, guys. Just three hours then.”

“Alright, alright. Just stop with the puppy dog eyes. Which club?” Hunk asked.

“Welp, considering three out of five of us are LGBT, I was thinking…. Rain?”

“Wha- the gay club? What are we supposed to do there?”

“Oh please, you and Hunk are basically a couple, you don’t need to flirt with strangers,” Matt muttered.

Hunk blushed and Pidge scowled, pinching her brother. “Then why are we going?” Hunk asked, trying to ignore the comment.

“Because you’re the parents.” Pidge, Hunk, and Matt stared at him in confusion. “Every friend group has the two that are like the parents. You keep us from doing stupid shit.”

“Hasn’t worked before,” Pidge mumbled. “Alright, okay, I’m down. But I’ll need to borrow clothes from my roommate.”

“I gotta get to work,” Hunk said. “Lance, you pick something out for me.” Lance gave him a thumbs up. “Bye guys. Thank for breakfast.”

As he left, Pidge turned to Matt and punched him in the arm. “Seriously, you jerk?”

“Ow! What!” Pidge stuck her tongue out at him and stood up.

“I’m going to get some caffeine. Don’t do anything stupid,” she said. She looked specifically at Lance and Matt.

When she left, Lance sighed. “I always figured it actually did bug her.”

“No she just likes giving me hell when I give her hell. I’m gonna head out too. See you guys tonight.” Matt got up and left the apartment.

Lance turned to Keith and shrugged. “Want to watch TV?”

“Yep.”

For a while, they just watched Netflix, specifically American Horror Story since Hunk and Pidge had watched ahead without him.

“Seriously, a breast milk fetish? That’s fucking weird,” Keith muttered.

“Hey man, don’t kink shame. Actually no yeah, there’s some that cross the line. I told you about the dude that had like a Spanish kink, right?” Keith raised an eyebrow. “Yeah he like… got off on me speaking Spanish while we fucked and it was weird. I was insulting him the whole time.”

“Are you serious?” Lance nodded. “That’s a fucked up kink.” Lance nodded. “What are your kinks?”

“I dunno. I mean.... I like neck kisses a lot. But like hickey types of kisses, not just little kisses. Maybe even like… I’d be down to try bondage and stuff. Knifes are pretty hot.”

Keith burst into laughter. “You have a knife kink? Have you ever even tried it?”

“Well, obviously not! I just think it’d be cool to try. I’ve read about it, and it sounds… interesting.”

“Interesting?” Keith laughed.

Lance shoved him off the couch, but Keith kept laughing. “Fuck off. If you’re so experienced, what are your kinks?”

“I never said I was experienced,” Keith said, smirking. Lance waited but Keith wasn’t talking. “I’m not telling you!”

“You’re such an ass you just threw me under the bus and won’t even make it equal.”

“You could’ve said you didn’t wanna tell me.”

“But you asked,” he said.

Keith looked at him and shrugged. “Yeah. But that doesn’t give me the right to an answer from you.”

The look he gave Lance and the tone he used made Lance think he wasn’t talking about kink questions anymore.

He stayed quiet and kept watching the show. After a while, Keith said, “I like teasing.”

“Teasing? What like… showing skin or something?”

“No,” Keith said with a roll of his eyes. “I mean like, when you’re fucking and you make them want more. It’s not the begging that’s fun for me, it’s… knowing I can make it longer for them so it’s really good when they finally finish.”

Lance raised his eyebrows and nodded. “Huh. Well, I wouldn’t know. Sounds fun.” Keith smiled and scoffed. “You didn’t have to tell me.”

“I wanted to.”

\--

Later that night, when they got to the club, Lance realized he wasn’t totally sure why Keith wanted to come so badly. He didn’t peg Keith for a dancer. As they went in, Lance’s eyes were drawn to the two strip dancers on a platform near the front.

“Wowza,” Pidge said, pushing her glasses to the top of her head. “Anyone got a dollar?”

Lance snorted and took her by the arm. “Care to dance, my lady?”

“If you can get me closer to those strippers, hell yeah.” Lance laughed and pulled Pidge to the dance floor. “I’m not a good dancer, though.”

“You don’t need to be, I’m a great lead,” Lance shouted over the music. He led Pidge through one song, and when that was over let her wander to the strippers dry humping the floor while girls and guys alike hooted and tried to stick dollar bills in their tiny black underwear.

After that, it wasn’t too hard getting a dance partner. Whether it was a Spanish song or a song that was on today’s top hits with a remixed bass amplification, he had someone at his side shaking their hips in time with his own. The girls were smiling, the guys were slender, and Lance was loving the attention. He caught a glimpse of his friends through the crowd, but for the most he was dancing with strangers, letting the music drown out everything else.

More than once, someone tried to get to close, but Lance evaded easily by giving them a whirl and putting a person between them.

“Who’s taking you home tonight?” Lance looked down at the girl who currently had her back against his chest and was swaying her hips from side to side.

“Just my friends, _linda.”_ She hummed and slid her hands up into his hair. He laughed and kept dancing, placing his hands on her waist to move her hips. He glanced up and saw Keith looking at him from a seat on the bar, a smile on his face. “I’m gonna get a drink.”

The girl frowned, but Lance was quickly replaced by her original group of friends. Lance walked over to the bar and nudged Keith’s shoulder. “Why aren’t you dancing?”

“I was. I don’t have your stamina,” he said with a laugh. “You seem to be having fun.”

“I’d kill to see you dance. You’re so stoic-faced all the time.” Lance sat beside him and asked for a water. “So what gives? Why’d you wanna come dancing?”

“Don’t laugh okay?” Lance furrowed his eyebrows and nodded. “I never had a group of friends like I do now, and… you know going out to dance is always a thing groups do at least on movies, so I thought it’d be fun. I’ve been here once before with a friend, but she wasn’t very fun.”

“Well, are you having fun?” Keith nodded. “Come dance.” He started to protest, and Lance shook his head. “You haven’t danced with me yet. Trust me, I’m a great dancer.”

“Oh I know you are. You’ve been dominating the dance floor,” Keith said as he followed him.

Lance smirked and pulled Keith closer. “You’ve been watching me?”

Keith shrugged. “A bit,” he admitted.

Lance bit his lip as moved Keith’s body to match with his and laughed at the blush that filled his cheeks. “Why are you blushing?”

“Because we’re really close.”

“Oh well, we can be furth-”

“No, it’s okay.” Lance raised an eyebrow and nodded. “Just uh… you should know I can’t move like that girl you were with.”

“That’s fine. I want you to dance like you.”

Keith grimaced, not realizing he was getting into the rhythm and following Lance’s movements. “That means I’m gonna be dancing like an awkward teenager at a school prom. I know this because I was the awkward teenager at my school prom.”

Lance laughed and shook his head. “Well, you’re doing perfectly fine right now.” As he said that, Keith stumbled, clenching onto Lance’s arms to balance himself. “Okay, so I shouldn’t point it out.” Keith rolled his eyes and blushed again, dipping his head. “What gives? You’re Keith, you don’t give a shit what people think. Why are you so shy now?”

“You’re not people, Lance.” Lance frowned and stopped moving. “I care what you think. You make me nervous.”

“I do?” Keith nodded. Lance took a breath and looked him in the eyes. “Since when?”

Keith looked around and tugged him toward the smoke area. “Let’s go somewhere quieter?” Lance followed him dumbly, not even caring that he hated the smell of cigarettes because he was thrown for a loop with Keith’s little confession. He followed him to a corner that wasn’t so suffocating with smoke. “Um. Since I met you really, I guess.”

Lance scoffed in disbelief. “You mean the day I slept with Matt?”

“I was happy it wasn’t going anywhere,” he said with a shrug. “I thought you were cute. Especially freaking out about possibly hurting Pidge. It was sweet.”

“You’ve… been into me since then?”

Keith shrugged and nodded. “I mean, I get it, you’re not looking for a relationship, but…. That’s what makes me so stupidly self-conscious around you.”

“But… you’re… you’re Keith.”

Keith rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. “What does that even mean, Lance?”

“I _mean_ you’re Keith! You’re cool and you’re an individual and you’re not scared to say what you think and everyone wants to be you or be with you and…. And I’m Lance. I’m a dork and I freak out over everything and I never do as well as I should and-”

Keith covered Lance’s mouth. “Stop that.”

Lance felt his eyebrows go up and his cheeks were hot under Keith’s palm. “Make me,” he muttered.

Keith furrowed his eyebrows and smiled. “If you want me to kiss you either tell me to do it or do it yourself. Don’t beat around the bush.” Lance leaned forward, but Keith leaned back. “Wait. Are you just kissing me because you like me or because you just want to kiss-”

Lance pulled him forward and pressed their lips together, sliding his hand against the nape of his neck. “I compliment the hell out of you and you don’t know if I like you?”

“I just-”

“Uh-huh,” Lance answered, leaning down to kiss him again. “Let me clear it up for you; you wanna be my boyfriend?”

Keith bit his lip and smiled. “What happened to not wanting a relationship?”

“ _Keith,”_ Lance said exasperatedly. “Do you want to date me or not? Keep in mind it means dealing with me all the time and I have no idea if I’m jealous, but I sure as hell am insecure, but you’d also be my first boyfriend so you have no expectation to live up to.”

“Sounds tempting,” he deadpanned. Lance shrugged. “Yes I want to be your boyfriend.”

Lance smiled and kissed him again. Then again. And again. And this time kissing felt a lot more exciting than before.

***

It was crazy to think that sophomore year was almost over. Lance was halfway through college now. And it also meant spending a summer away from Keith when they’d only started dating two months ago.

“What do you mean you’re not rooming with me next year?” Lance whined from his comfortable spot on Keith’s lap.

“I got the RA position. I’m gonna be in the dorm hall we were in freshman year. If I wasn’t, I’d room with you.”

“Now I’m gonna live with a fucking stranger,” Lance grumbled.

“You could live with me. I’m getting an apartment off campus,” Keith said, his eyes closed as he leaned his head against Lance’s shoulder.

“Mm, yeah, I’m gonna step in here as the Mom Friend,” Pidge said. “That’s not a good idea. You guys barely started dating, and moving in together is way too fast. What happens if you break up over summer or halfway through the year?”

“Geez, pessimistic much?” Lance said. Keith wrapped his arms around him tighter.

“No, I just want to be realistic.”

“She’s right. I second that as the Dad Friend.” Hunk shrugged and sat beside them. “Why don’t you get one of the single apartments instead? That way no roommates, you can still pretend you basically live together, and you’ll have your own space.”

“Yeah, I’ll have to talk to Res Life, but I can do that. Alright.”

“I’m off to the library to finish my final paper. I’ll stop by later tonight,” Pidge said, giving them each a fist bump. “I really wasn’t trying to be a pessimist, guys. Just looking out for you.”

“Yeah, we know, _Mom,”_ Keith teased. She winked and then left the apartment.

“I’m gonna go to my RA meeting in a bit. You guys want anything from the café on my way back?”

“Ask me when you’re coming back, I’ll probably want something,” Lance answered. Hunk nodded and went into his room to change. “Wanna help me pack what’s left?” he asked Keith. He nodded and followed Lance to his room, helping him shove boxes to make a pathway.

“You’re not packing this?” Keith asked, holding up the stuffed shark Keith had won him during one of their first dates.

“No, I don’t want it getting smooshed. It’s too important.” Keith blushed and looked down, nodding awkwardly as he put it back on Lance’s desk. “I can’t believe I can still make you blush,” Lance said with a smile.

Keith looked at him and ran a hand through his hair, something Lance like to do often when they watched movies. “Well, I’m kind of… really into you, you asshole.” Lance laughed at the endearment and shook his head. “I don’t want to be away from you all summer. Is there any way we can meet up?”

“I mean, you can visit me, but we’d have to pretend we’re just friends. My family doesn’t know I’m not just into girls. And my mom would never let me leave home to another state in the summer. I’m 19 but living there for the summer means I’m back under her rules for it too.” He took Keith’s hand and kissed his knuckles. “We can have Skype dates. And I will text you 24/7, you’ll get annoyed with me.” Keith laughed. “We’ll figure it out. We’ll be back together here before you know it.”

“I’m just scared you’ll change your mind about me. Whether for a girl or another guy or just some other person. Knowing I’d be too far to convince you or-”

“I’m leaving, you want me to lock the door or are you gonna do it?” Hunk called.

“Lock it please, we’re packing in here still.” Lance waited to hear the shut of the door before looking back at Keith. “Hey. Convince me of what? That I want to be with you? That I’m happy when I’m with you? I don’t care if all my old crushes came running at me begging to date me because I have you. They missed their chance. And anyone new is just too late. Because I really, really like you.”

“I really, really like you too,” he answered, tilting his head to almost kiss him, hesitating, then kissing him. Lance really wished he could show Keith how important he was. He wished Keith believed him when he said he wasn’t just going to drop him. Hell, Lance was terrified of someone stealing Keith away because Keith was so fucking beautiful and determined and amazing in every way. It seemed surreal for Keith to have the same fear when he was just… Lance.

“C’mere,” Lance murmured, pulling him closer. He leaned in to kiss his neck, slipped his hands under his shirt to run over the expanse of his stomach. He let his fingers push into the waistband of his jeans, bringing his hands together to unbutton them.

“Whoa, hey, Lance,” Keith said, pulling back from the kiss and grabbing his wrists. “Listen to me, you don’t have to do anything to prove you want to be with me, okay? Especially not something you don’t want to do yet.”

“I do want to.”

“Lance-”

“ _Keith._ ” Lance took a steadying breath and huffed. “What, do _you_ not want to? I can stop. But I don’t mind doing this with you.” _Maybe it’ll mean something more this time._

Keith touched his cheek and looked at him fondly. “Yes, I want to, but I know you, Lance. I don’t want to be like the other people. This isn’t about what I want, or you making _me_ comfortable. It’s supposed to be for both of us. I don’t want you feeling shitty or guilty or faking or feeling like you can’t talk to me.”

“I know I can talk to you. I will.”

“I need to know you’ll tell me if you want to stop. That you won’t just push through to make me happy,” Keith insisted. “I don’t care if we’re barely getting into it or halfway into it or almost done, if you want to stop, if something’s not okay-”

Lance cut him off with a kiss and brought his hips closer to his own. “I promise.”

“You’re not just doing this to prove something to me?”

“No.” Keith stared at him and took a deep breath. “Okay?”

“Okay. Do you have any-”

“First drawer. I bought them once just in case and never really used them.” Keith nodded and grabbed the box of condoms Lance had.

“Lay down,” Keith said gently, leaving one square packet on the bed. Lance did, and Keith leaned over him, planting kisses along his collar bone and along his neck. Lance gasped as he felt Keith suck on his skin, swirling his tongue; he could feel the light graze of his teeth against the skin he’d sucked into sensitivity. “You okay?”

Lance nodded quickly, not wanting him to stop. Keith pushed his shirt up and ran his hands over Lance’s skin, and Lance didn’t think he’d ever been so aware of someone’s touch before.

Keith lifted his shirt so it rested half up his arms and covered his mouth. “Stay like that, okay?” Lance nodded. Keith began pressing kisses to his chest. Then his tongue licked a stripe down to his belly button, making Lance whimper and squirm. “Easy, stay still.” Lance tried to, but he couldn’t see Keith, and he had goosebumps all over, making him even more sensitive.

Just as Lance was getting used to the kisses, he felt Keith begin to nibble softly against his skin and he shuddered, gasping into the fabric of his shirt. Lance couldn’t keep himself from whimpering softly. He wanted more, but he also didn’t want this to stop.

“K-Keith,” he mumbled. Keith sat up and pulled the shirt all the way off. “Kiss me. Please.”

Keith gave him the softest smile and leaned in to kiss him, muffling a surprised gasp at the ferocity with which Lance kissed him back. “Oh God, Lance.”

Lance pushed his hips up and Keith groaned into his neck as he pushed down, grinding against each other. Lance pawed at his shirt and Keith pulled it over his head, making Lance laugh when he fumbled with it. “Mm, me likey.”

“Please never say that phrase again,” Keith said with a chuckle as he nuzzled Lance’s cheek.

“I won’t if you get these damn pants off in the next minute.”

Keith laughed again and nodded, kicking his pants off and then tugging Lance’s down. There was more laughter as they struggled to get Lance’s long legs out of the jeans, and it was quieted by kisses that were so gentle it was hard to believe this was the same guy who had to have Hunk pull him away from an argument before it became a fight. This short-tempered guy was touching Lance like he was the most important thing in the world and Lance wasn’t sure what to do about that.

His hand was gentle as he pressed against Lance’s bulge, peppering him with kisses. Lance couldn’t stop the moans that escaped between heavy breaths as Keith rubbed against him. Lance wrapped his arms around his shoulders, feeling the soft, warm skin of his back under his palms.

“Okay?” Keith asked with a strained voice. Lance nodded. Keith’s hand pulled down his boxers and Lance had to cover his mouth when he felt Keith’s bare hand touch him. “Shit, you okay?”

Lance nodded again. “Just… intense. You’re really building this up.”

Keith smiled and kissed him, running his hand along Lance’s thigh. He gently hiked Lance’s leg up and slid back down to tease his entrance.

At that very moment, the memory of his first time with a guy in this same bed came crashing back to him. Pidge’s words just twenty minutes earlier. What if it hurt again? What if they did break up and they did this and Lance was left to pick up the pieces of his vulnerability, left to add another experience to the list of sex disasters? What if there was just something wrong with him, and if he didn’t like this, Keith went away? The thoughts and memories swirled in his head, making him feel panicked.

“Lance,” Keith whispered, bringing him back. “Hey. You okay?” Lance nodded, slower this time. Keith hummed and tilted his face to look at him. “Lance? Do you want to stop?” Lance hesitated then nodded, feeling stupid but relieved. “Okay. That’s okay. Want me to help you get dressed?” Lance shook his head. He already felt like an idiot. He didn’t need to feel like a doll too.

“I just…. It’s just….” He trailed off and shut his eyes.

“Hey, it’s okay. You don’t have to explain if you don’t want to. Get dressed.” Keith pulled back and tugged his jeans and shirt back on. “I’ll be in the living room-”

“Don’t go.” Keith stopped and sat on the bed, giving Lance a smile.

“Okay.”

Lance gulped and hurried to redress before sitting with Keith and leaning against his shoulder. “I’m so sorry, Keith. I just panicked. I wanted to do this with you, and I promise it doesn’t mean I don’t want to be with you. My mind just started running and I…. I couldn’t.”

“That’s okay,” Keith said with a gentle chuckle. “I told you to tell me if you wanted to stop, and you did. I know you’ve had some shitty experiences. I don’t want us to be like that because you feel like you owe me something or… you know?” Lance nodded and interlocked their hands. “Hey, Lance?” He hummed. “I’m… kind of… really in love with you.”

Lance jerked back and stared at Keith in shock.

“You don’t have to say it back, okay? I just… really wanted to tell you that before we left for break, and… I didn’t want you to think I said it just because we had sex, so… I think now is best. I don’t-”

Lance covered his mouth to shut him up and smiled at him, trying to find his voice. After a few moments, he said, “That’s the first time anyone’s ever said that to me.”

Keith smiled and took Lance’s hand, pressing his cheek up against it. The best part was that Lance knew Keith meant it. And he was pretty sure he loved Keith back.

***

The summer had definitely been a trial. It was nice to be with family, but at the same time, Lance really missed Keith and he hated having to be so careful about how he spoke to him on the phone because there was no privacy in the house.

He managed to Skype Keith when his parents were out but had to bribe his siblings into secrecy because his brother Marco noticed how flustered Lance would get and caught a glimpse of Keith. That was only going to last so long, and with his siblings, he really should’ve seen that coming.

He just never thought of what would happen the day he had to come out to his parents.

He knew something was up when his mom asked what he did all day three days in a row in the middle of July. Then his dad seemed to falter anytime he and Lance’s tios made a typical Hispanic gay joke. Lance had been used to those, and he didn’t really take them to heart since it was mostly teasing and not actual hate. So it was weird when his dad started nervously looking to change the subject and avoiding Lance’s eyes. Then his mom kept taking time before bed to tell Lance she loved him. Which Lance loved, of course, but…. It was weird that she was suddenly treating him like he was the eight-year-old only child again.

Then one night after coming in from meeting back up with old high school friends, he found his mom making tea in the kitchen.

“Hey, _Mami,_ why are you still up?”

“I wanted some _te de manzanilla._ How’d it go?”

“It was cool. We got wings.” She nodded and Lance started down the hall to go change into PJs, pulling his phone out to text Keith that he wasn’t busy anymore.

Before he could pass the kitchen, his mom touched his shoulder and gave him a steady look. “ _M’ijo,_ is everything okay?”

“Yeah?” he answered with a shrug. “Why? What’s going on? You and Dad have been treating me like I’m sick or something….” That was probably when it clicked for Lance.

His mom took her tea and sat at the table gesturing him over. He sat down, already feeling nauseous. “Luis told us you’ve been talking to someone on the computer every day.”

“Just friends from college,” he shrugged.

“Just friends,” she repeated. Lance stayed quiet, nodding when she looked up. “Are you sure there’s not something you want to tell us?”

Lance took a breath and clenched his jaw. “There’s nothing I want to tell you.” Keith had told him once that just because someone asked, it didn’t entitle them to an answer. And Lance didn’t want to tell them.

“Marco said he saw a message on your phone. From a boy. Telling you… he loved you.” Her voice wavered and broke, and Lance felt his resolve chipping away. What right did he have to hurt his _mamita_? “So I’ll ask you again. And please don’t lie-”

“I’m not lying. I don’t want to tell you. What do you want to know and why does it matter?”

She took another shaky breath and held her tears at bay. “ _Eres gay, m’ijo?”_

Lance scoffed and shook his head. “No.”

“Lance don’t lie-”

“I’m not-!” He clamped his mouth shut and lowered his voice. “I’m not lying. I’m not gay. Okay, maybe it’s hard for you to understand that I can like someone for who they are, but yeah. I don’t really care what gender someone is, if they’re a decent human that makes me happy, that’s all I want.”

“Lance, I just…. You could be confused, maybe you could talk to the _sacerdote,_ and-”

“I’m not confused just because you don’t understand,” Lance answered sharply. “And you’re not even religious anymore! Don’t even try to bring that in, because-”

“ _Oye, calmate,”_ she chided. “I’m trying, okay? To understand, to do what’s best. I mean you never… showed this kind of interest before college, I don’t…. No, I don’t understand.”

“You think I’d want to show when I liked a guy when I knew this” he gestured between them “is what was going to come next? You don’t have to get it right away. You don’t even have to be okay with it. I get that it’s weird to you, but weird isn’t always bad, and… I’m happy. Why can’t that be enough right now?”

“You’re happy? With that boy?” Lance nodded. “Do you have a picture?”

Lance bit his lip and nodded, pulling out his phone to scroll through his gallery. Keith hardly ever took a good picture, usually hiding his face or moving or making a face. But there was one Hunk had sent him from the day Keith surprised Lance with a new game he’d been saving for. Keith was actually smiling in that one.

It was the one he showed his mom.

She stared at the picture, and Lance wasn’t sure what was going through her head. Was she disgusted? Did she think it wouldn’t last? Did she want to strangle Keith? Lance shuddered to think about what she would want to do to Logan or Matt or Rolan if she knew about them.

“How long?” she asked, handing the phone back.

“Since March.” She nodded, looking pained. Her nostrils flared as she held back the tears, her jaw clenched as she tried to keep her lips from trembling. Lance hated that it was because of him. “I’m still me, Mami.”

“I wish you had told us. Instead of having to hear it from your brothers.” She stood up and went to her room, covering her mouth before dashing into her room with Lance’s sleeping father.

Lance sat there, staring at the table for a while, not feeling like he had the stamina to call Keith and not knowing how he was supposed to fall asleep now. Still, he went to his room and got into bed, suddenly plagued by the memories of all the shitty, disappointing things he’d done in his life.

The door opened and he glanced over to see his sister, Veronica, in her PJs. She didn’t say anything, she just clambered into the bed and hugged him. Lance hugged her back so tightly, he knew it probably bugged her because she wasn’t an affectionate person.

“It’s gonna be okay,” she said. “What’s his name?”

“Keith.”

“How’d you meet him?”

Lance smiled and told her about the day he came into the apartment with Hunk. He kept it kid-friendly for her since she was just twelve, but it felt nice to remember the good things about being with Keith instead of feeling upset about liking him in the first place.

“Am I gonna meet him one day?” she asked.

“Yeah, if you want to.” She smiled and nodded. She stayed cuddled up with Lance that night, and Lance was pretty sure it was thanks to her that he was able to sleep.

The next day, Lance was terrified of leaving his room. But he wasn’t going to spend the rest of summer holed up like this. He left his room and went to get breakfast before his parents woke up. As he ate, his siblings each filed into the kitchen and grabbed food. Lance rolled his eyes at his younger brothers, but it was more out of frustration than anger.

His dad called for him and Lance wondered vaguely if his parents were capable of kicking him out or disowning him. He went to his parents’ room and trying to keep his hands from shaking. “Yeah?”

“You want to tell me why your mom was crying half the night?”

Lance let out a frustrated huff and figured he had nothing left to lose. “She’s probably disappointed in me for being in a relationship with a guy. Can you skip the lecture and just tell me whether I should start packing my things?”

“ _Cabron,_ watch your mouth. You don’t talk to us like that.” Lance ran a hand through his hair and did his best to keep himself from completely losing it. “What’s the kid’s name?”

“Keith.”

“When did you meet him?”

“Around November?”

“When did you start dating?”

“March.”

“You want to be a girl?”

“Wha- no! That’s not what…. Jesus. No, I don’t want to be a girl, Dad. He makes me happy and that’s all.” His dad nodded and looked at his mom. “What?”

“I’m not disappointed in you for liking a boy, Lance. I’m disappointed that you didn’t tell us yourself after all this time.” Lance shifted on his feet. “Are you keeping your grades up?” He nodded. “Spending money?”

“No. No, we usually just watch Netflix with my roommate and eat fast food or watch a movie like once a month. He’s really smart, he works really hard. He pushes me to do better in school, ever since we were just friends.”

His parents shared another look. “So when are we meeting this boy?” his dad asked.

\--

The anxiety was eating him alive. Moving back to college paired with Keith meeting his family for the first time and the fact that they had to unpack in the apartment and still get things ready for the first day of classes…. It was driving Lance nearly insane.

After checking his boxes again, thinking through his checklist for the umpteenth time, Luis ran to him and pointed to the door. “It’s the boy from the computer, Lance!”

Lance raced to the window and smiled when he saw Keith’s truck. “Ma! Pa! He’s here!” He opened the door and raced out, feeling his heart swell when he saw Keith getting out of his car. He ran toward him and engulfed him in a hug. “God, I missed you,” he breathed.

Keith laughed and hugged him back just as tight. “I love you. I missed you too.” Lance smiled and pulled back to kiss him, wondering how he made it all those months without these kisses, without these arms around him, without that smile in front of him.

“Ready?” Lance asked nervously. Keith took a breath and nodded. He followed Lance into the house and Lance took his hand. “Mami? Dad?”

“Yes, here, over here. I just wanted to make some lemonade, I didn’t realize it was so late. Hi, I’m Lance’s mom.”

“Keith. It’s nice to meet you,” Keith said, shaking her hand and awkwardly hugging her when she leaned in uncertainly. So far so good….

“ _Hola,_ I’m Lance’s dad. _Como estas?”_

“Dad, Keith doesn’t-”

“ _Bien, gracias y usted?”_ Keith answered tentatively. Lance stared at him in shock. “What, you think I’m gonna have a Cuban boyfriend and not try to pick up on a little Spanish?” He turned back to his dad. “Although, that’s about as much as I can speak, so… go easy on me.”

Lance saw his parents share a quick little smile and he felt relieved. “Come on, let me introduce you to my siblings. Vero is super excited to meet you.” He pulled Keith to the garage where his siblings were playing, peeking curiously as Lance came over to them. “This is Veronica, my successor. Marco is the second youngest. And Luis is the baby of the family. Guys, this is Keith.”

“Computer guy!” Luis said.

Veronica waved shyly.

Marco seemed skeptical and curious.

“It’s nice to meet you three. Lance talks about you a lot.” The three of them beamed, though Marco tried to hide it.

“You mind hanging with them for a few seconds? I need to ask my parents something.”

“Sure,” Keith said, but the nervousness in his eyes told Lance how much the idea of staying with a few kids actually made him feel.

He smiled and kissed his cheek, promising to return quickly. He dipped back inside and found his parents murmuring in the kitchen as his mother finished up the lemonade. Lance cleared his throat and they turned to him.

“So…?”

“He seems nice,” his mother said.

“Could use a haircut,” his father added.

Lance chuckled and nodded. “But…. Is he okay? What do you guys think?”

“We barely talk to him, _m’ijo.”_ Lance took a breath and nodded.

His father put a hand on his shoulder. “It’s a little strange, _flaco,_ seeing you together. But we’re more than willing to figure this out if you’re happy. We’ll get used to it.”

Lance nodded, ignoring the lump in his throat at his father’s words. Coming from a Hispanic father, it was more than Lance could have hoped for. “In the meantime,” his mother said with a smile, “We’re going to make ribs for dinner. Would you and your fr- boyfriend mind staying one more day before leaving?”

Lance smiled and nodded. “I’ll let him know.” He turned away to go back to the garage, but stopped midstep and turned back to his parents. He engulfed them in a hug and let out a relieved laugh. “ _Los amo mucho._ I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you guys myself.”

His father ruffled his hair and his mother kissed his cheek. Lance hurried out to the garage to find Keith sitting in a small red chair that had been passed down from Lance to each sibling. Veronica was showing him that she knew how to braid. Marco was showing him some of his toy dragons. And Luis was giving him plastic cups, claiming it was coffee for Keith to drink.

Keith looked uncomfortable, and when he saw Lance, he seemed to ease up a bit. “Hey _chamacos,_ I need to steal him away for a bit.” Lance took Keith’s hand and stifled a laugh when he struggled to break free of the small chair. “So,” Lance said, dragging the word out. “How do you feel about staying the night tonight and leaving tomorrow?”

Keith frowned. “Would your parents be cool with that?”

“They suggested it. They said they’re making ribs tonight. I think they also want to get to know you a bit.”

“That’s not nerve-wracking at all,” he muttered. “Yeah. We can stay for tonight.” Lance beamed and kissed him quickly, making Keith smile.

Lance and Keith went ahead and loaded Keith’s truck with Lance’s things so they wouldn’t be running around too much the next day. When they came back in, Lance’s siblings were watching a movie on the television in the living room while his parents worked on dinner.

“Can we help?” Lance asked, keeping his fingers loosely intertwined with Keith’s.

His mother looked over, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion for a split second before she regained her composure and quickly looked away. Keith pulled his hand free from Lance’s. “No, _querido,_ we’re fine. Besides, Keith is a guest in the house.”

“Oh, okay,” Lance said. He nudged Keith and gestured to his room. Keith followed and gave Lance a halfhearted smile. “What happened?”

“Nothing. I just… I could tell your mom was uncomfortable.”

Lance took his hand and gripped it tight. “Well, she’s gonna have to get used to it. It’s just new. Besides, it’s not like we were making out in front of her. She’ll come around. They both will.” Keith nodded and Lance put a finger under Keith’s chin to tilt his head up. “Keith.”

“I know, I know, I just don’t want to be a burden-”

Lance covered his mouth and chuckled, pressing their foreheads together. “I was just going to say that I love you. So don’t worry about anything else.” Keith stared at him with wide eyes. Lance had never seen him look so vulnerable before. Even when he’d admitted his feelings, even when he told Lance he loved him, Keith had been guarded. Like he was expecting something to bite back, like he expected to be hurt for what he felt.

But now, he was completely defenseless, relying solely on Lance’s hands around him to keep him safe and put together.

“Have you ever said that to anyone before?”

“Romantically? No.” Keith smiled widely and bit his lip, his face reddening. “What?” Lance chuckled.

Keith shook his head. “I just… I know you care a lot about firsts, and that you didn’t have many left, but… I feel really lucky to have the most important one.”

Lance felt all of his breath leave him and felt his heart swell. He leaned in and kissed him, softly at first, before he let his lips part and let his tongue slide between Keith’s lips to memorize the shape of his mouth. He wanted to commit this new kiss to memory because it was a kiss that was being shared with the knowledge that they were both completely in love with each other. He wanted to memorize the space of his mouth which seemed designed for Lance’s tongue, wanted to memorize the way Keith’s pulse rushed under Lance’s fingers at his neck because only Lance could make him react this way.

He heard someone clear their throat and they pulled away quickly, as if they’d been caught doing something wrong. Lance’s father was standing awkwardly at the doorway, scratching his beard.

“Sorry, Papá.”

He shook his head and chuckled nervously, his eyes darting around. “It’s fine. As long as nothing more than that happens under this roof.” Lance groaned and nodded, but his father wasn’t even looking. “I was going to ask if you boys wanted some chips? Your mami made _papas con salsa y limon.”_

“Ooh, yum. Yeah, we’ll be right there.”

His father nodded and walked away. Lance turned to Keith who was hiding his face in Lance’s arm. “They’re going to fucking hate me.”

“No they won’t,” Lance assured. “Come on, come eat some chips with me.” He pulled Keith out of the room and pushed him back to the living room where his siblings were all eating from a giant plate of chips covered in _botanera_ hot sauce and lime.

They sat with them and watched _Meet the Robinsons,_ which was actually Keith’s favorite Disney movie. The smell of pork ribs slowly began to fill the house. The later it got, the more Lance noticed his siblings drifting closer to him, like they were realizing that their brother would be gone until November again. Lance didn’t always get along with his siblings but being away from them always hurt.

When dinner was ready, Lance, Keith, and the kids all sat around the table as his parents brought the food over with plates and cups. Ribs, mashed potatoes, broccoli, and macaroni for the kids.

“The barbecue is a special family recipe,” his father bragged.

“And mom’s potatoes are to die for,” Lance added. Keith smiled and served himself before sitting down.

“So Keith, what are you studying?” Mom asked. Lance grimaced as he felt the interrogation begin.

“Oh, I’m a chemistry major. With a sociology minor.”

“Oh, your parents must be proud,” she said with a smile.

Keith smiled and nodded, looking down at his food. Lance reached under the table to grab his hand. Keith’s mom was MIA and his father didn’t pay much attention to him.

“Do you play any sports?” his father asked.

“I used to play soccer in high school,” he answered. “Midfield.”

“Oh, Lance remember when you played? What were you, a forward?” his mother said. Lance nodded. “I have some pictures somewhere, I’ll be sure to show you, Keith.” Lance groaned, which made Keith smile. “Well, this wouldn’t be a proper meeting-the-parents moment if I didn’t embarrass you with pictures, would it?”

As dinner continued, Lance’s parents continued to ask questions about Keith and his thoughts and his life. Whenever a question was too personal or just made him a bit uncomfortable, Keith would squeeze Lance’s hand and he’d intervene with a joke to sidetrack the conversation.

Once dinner was over, Keith insisted on at least helping with the dishes because he felt guilty doing nothing. Lance kept him company and played a few hand games with Veronica who wanted to keep them both company.

When Keith was done, Lance’s mom told him to stay in Lance’s room, and Lance could sleep in Marco’s room.

“These are very thin walls, so _mas te vale_ not to try anything, okay?” she said as she gave him an extra blanket in case he got cold.

Keith chuckled and nodded. “Yes, ma’am. Thank you.”

“Goodnight, Keith,” she said with a smile.

“Goodnight, Mrs. McClain. Goodnight, Lance.” He hesitated before pressing a chaste kiss to Lance’s cheek and going into Lance’s room.

Lance felt himself blush as he stared after him. His mom pinched him and gave him a teasing smile before making the sign of the cross on Lance like she did every time before bed and bidding him goodnight.

Lance went to bed and smiled when Luis clambered into the small bed with him and Marco. Veronica came in a few seconds later and saw that the three brothers were in one bed, so she took Luis’. Lance chuckled, loving that his siblings would miss him enough to deal with a cramped bed and wanting to at least be in the same room as him the night before he left.

When morning came, Lance found himself under a pile of his three siblings, each sprawled in a different direction. He managed to clamber out from under them and went to wash up in the bathroom before going to the kitchen.

He was surprised to find Keith drinking coffee with his mom while his dad prepared some _carnitas_ for tacos. Keith smiled at him and asked, “How’d you sleep?”

Lance shrugged. “I woke up under all three of my sibling so… pretty good considering.”

About fifteen minutes later, his siblings woke up to eat breakfast. Once Lance realized they’d be leaving today, he found it harder to eat. When everything was cleaned up, Keith tugged on his arm and gave him a sad smile. “If we leave now, we won’t hit much traffic, but it’s okay if you want to stay a little longer.”

Lance sighed and nodded. “Yeah, now would be best. I still have unpacking to do. Let me go tell my parents.” He pulled away and went to where his mom and dad were sitting in the living room. “Mom, Dad?” They looked over at him. “I think we’re gonna head out soon, so….”

“Right now?”

“Yeah, well, traffic. And I have to give myself time to unpack before classes start.”

His mom nodded and stood up. “Okay, let me make you two some _taquitos_ for the road.” She went into the kitchen and quickly started heating up some leftover meat and tortillas. His father went over to Keith and asked if he had enough gas, if there was anything he could help with before they left, if he was okay to drive all the way back in one go.

Meanwhile, Lance went to get his siblings from where they were playing in the garage to say goodbye. When he told them he’d be leaving, they clung to him, wanting to be next to him until the very last second. Lance knew he wouldn’t be gone forever, and he knew it wasn’t hard to video chat, but…. Lance had practically raised his siblings, and he’d miss his mom’s tangible hugs, he’d miss drinking a beer with his dad while they worked on his mom’s Tahoe because something was always wrong with that car, and he’d miss getting annoyed by his siblings….

His mom had packed their tacos in a small black lunch bag and gave Lance two Cokes to take with him. The family followed them out to the truck. Lance saw his mom make the sign of the cross on Keith and kiss his cheek. His siblings each gave Keith a high five, and Veronica hugged him. His father clapped him on the back and patted his shoulder.

His siblings each clung to Lance’s legs and hugged him. Lance hugged them as tightly as he could and kissed each of their foreheads. Marco made a point of wiping it off, and looking mad, but Lance knew Marco would miss him just much as Veronica or Luis. His mother and father hugged him together and Lance was really doing his best not to cry.

“You have you phone charger?”

“Yes, Mami.”

“You have your wallet? You never carry that.”

“Yes, Mami, I got it.”

“ _Tienes tu computadora?”_

“Yes, Mami. I have everything.” She nodded and let out a shaky breath, biting her lip to keep it from quivering. “Thank you guys for giving him a chance. I’m really lucky to have you as my parents.”

“He’s a good kid, _mijo._ You look happy with him. And so does he,” his father said, squeezing his shoulder.

“We will always love you, no matter what, you understand that _muchacho?_ We will be here for anything you need.”

“I love you too. So much,” Lance choked out as he hugged them again.

“ _Orale pues,_ get going. Don’t want to hit traffic,” his mother said, making the sign of the cross and kissing his cheeks. His father gave him one more bone crunching hug.

Lance got into the truck and took a deep breath, looking out the window as his family waved. “Okay. Let’s go,” Lance said. Keith put the car in drive and started down the street. His family kept waving. His siblings followed for two houses. Veronica ran to the end of the street, still waving. Until he couldn’t see them anymore.

Lance could feel himself shaking as he stared at no one through the side mirror. He felt Keith take his hand and squeeze it hard.

“It’s okay to cry, baby.”

And the tears began.

\--

It took Lance a few songs before he stopped crying. It took a few more before he stopped feeling so sad. Keith rubbed comforting circles into his hand and kissing his hand as Lance leaned his head on his shoulder. Once they made a pitstop at Buc-Ee’s and Lance was able to get some fresh air and stretch his legs, he felt much better. While Lance put in gas, Keith went into the store and came back with some of Lance’s favorite candies.

Lance started singing along to the radio, he told Keith what his parents had said about him, and he talked about the different ways he could decorate his new on-campus apartment.

By the time they reached the school and Lance got checked in, it was late afternoon. Lance messaged his parents to let them know they’d arrived then helped Keith getting boxes into the apartment. Having to unpack and refold all the clothes along with setting up his journals and video games and all the other junk inside made Lance want to flop on the bed. And he did.

Keith laughed and suggested they leave it for tomorrow, but Lance knew it’d be best to get it out of the way.

Hunk and Pidge came over when Lance told them he’d arrived. They helped with the unpacking and when it was done they sat down to watch TV and relax.

“So you met the parents,” Hunk said, wiggling his eyebrows.

“I was fucking terrified. But they were nice,” Keith said, resting his head on Lance’s lap.

“How’d you come out to them?” Pidge asked.

“It was kind of an accident. My brothers sort of ratted me out, but they took it pretty well. It was a bit emotional, but still.” He shrugged and tilted his head back, shutting his eyes.

He hadn’t realized he fell asleep until Keith was shaking him awake to get him into his bed. “Pidge and Hunk left an hour ago. You’re gonna get a crick in your neck there.” Lance grumbled and stood up, going to his room to change into PJ’s while Keith went to the bathroom.

Lance grabbed his hand and pulled him into a hug. “Stay with me,” he grumbled.

“Okay,” Keith chuckled. “Let’s get to bed. Can I borrow some clothes to sleep in?” Lance nodded and gestured to the drawer before shuffling into bed, leaving space for Keith. A few moments later, Lance felt the bed dip as Keith laid beside him, wrapping an arm around him. “You wanna know something?” he asked. Lance hummed. “Seeing how you are with your parents and your brothers and sister… it was so cute. I felt like I was falling in love with you all over again.”

Lance smiled and opened his eyes. “Who’d have thought that the day you came in with Hunk would lead us to being here?” he whispered.

Keith bumped their noses together. “You know, I almost didn’t come with him that day. I was going to take an Uber, but Hunk kept insisting I shouldn’t spend money when I could stay at his place. Funny how life works.”

Lance bit his lip and smiled. “I love you.” Keith hugged him tighter. It wasn’t long until they were both fast asleep.

When Lance woke up, it took him a second to remember he wasn’t at home anymore. But when he felt the warmth of Keith’s body beside him, that didn’t sting as much. He turned to look at Keith and smiled when he blinked slowly, a small smile spreading on his lips.

“Morning,” Keith whispered.

Lance smiled and kissed him softly. “Good morning, _mi amor.”_ It was the first time they woke up together like this. “I’d offer you breakfast, but I still have to go grocery shopping.”

“We can get something quick and go whenever we get out of bed.”

Lance nodded and tangled his legs with Keith’s. He ran his hands through his hair and smiled when Keith hummed at the feeling. “I love you,” Lance said softly.

Keith’s eyes opened, bright and beautiful. “I love you too,” he answered, interlocking their fingers.

When they finally got out of bed, they grabbed a breakfast biscuit from McDonald’s and went to Wal-Mart. Without the supervision of actual adults, it took them longer than it should’ve to get groceries, and really, Lance mainly stocked up on frozen dinners. He got some essentials like milk and eggs and juice, but when it came to the meals he really loved, he wasn’t sure he’d have the time or talent to make them like his mami.

When they got back and started putting the groceries, Lance couldn’t help the fuzzy feeling he got watching Keith help stock the fridge because it seemed so… domestic. Like this was _their_ apartment, with _their_ groceries and _their_ bed and _their_ bathroom.

Maybe it was too early to think so far ahead, and maybe Lance was still in a honeymoon stage, but that was the fun part about being young; you had an excuse to be stupidly naïve. Because at that moment, Lance could see a life with Keith where they went grocery shopping together and moved into a new place together, unpacked together, fell asleep in the same bed together every night and woke up to each other every morning. At that moment, that future was possible.

“What are you staring at?” Keith asked as he put away the last item.

“You,” Lance said simply. Keith scoffed, but he still blushed. Lance went over to him and kissed him, not starting off as carefully and slowly as he usually did.

Taken by surprise, Keith backed up against the fridge, thudding against it as Lance kissed him and gripped his hips hard. And each time Lance thought the kiss would be over, one of them would reinitiate it, unwilling to let it stop. Hungrier and hungrier until Keith had pulled Lance up by his thighs and put him on the counter. Lance wrapped his legs around Keith’s torso and groaned as Keith moved to his neck.

Oh, Lance had gone so long without these neck kisses. He’d forgotten how good Keith was at them.

He pulled away from Keith for a split second to pull his shirt off, and Keith bit his lip, hesitating. “Remember our rule?”

Lance nodded and pulled Keith closer with his legs. “We tell each other if we want to stop no matter what.”

Keith nodded and pulled him into a kiss. He pulled Lance off the counter and walked to his room blindly. They bumped against the walls like some horny couple on a romance movie, except for them it wasn’t so much the fact that they wanted to rip each other’s clothes off more than the fact that they weren’t used to the layout of the apartment so they were a bit clumsy.

Lance laughed against Keith’s lips and they pulled apart to beam at each other when they made it to the room. Keith laid Lance on his bed and kissed down his torso. “Condoms?”

“Second drawer,” Lance said.

Keith pulled away and came back a few moments later, shirtless and holding what he needed in one hand.

He took his time kissing his torso just like he had before. He nipped at Lance’s earlobe and whispered, “Do you have a preference?” Lance thought for a moment and shook his head. “Well, how about I top and you pay attention so we can try it the other way next time?”

“Sounds good to me,” Lance said with a nod. “Now get these off.” He undid Keith’s jeans and pushed them off a bit.

Keith laughed and sat back to remove them completely, shimmying Lance’s jeans off next. He laid over Lance again and kissed him, running a hand over his body. Lance could feel shivers coursing through him, goosebumps rose on his skin in the wake of light fingers.

Then his hips rocked against Lance and he gasped, gripping Keith’s hips. Before Keith could ask if he was okay, Lance pushed his hips up and set a steady rhythm, moving Keith’s hips with his hands as Keith sucked and bit at his neck.

“Fuck,” Lance breathed. “Touch me.”

Keith bit down on his shoulder, making Lance arch his back as a cold hand slipped under his boxers, tracing the skin of his legs before finally wrapping around him. Lance took a sharp breath and let his head fall back, feeling little bursts of fireworks on his skin at every point of contact. Keith’s hand moved up and down slowly. He sat up, between Lance’s legs, carefully watching Lance’s face.

He began to move his hand a little faster, and Lance felt his entire body tense. His toes curled and he felt heat spreading through his entire body as he squirmed. Then Keith slowed down, calming the feeling. He moaned and Keith’s other hand set to caressing his stomach, his thighs. Slowly, he built up speed again until Lance was gasping, fighting every urge to plead for more because he was close to something, he knew he was. But Keith slowed again, and Lance huffed, covering his face with his arm.

“Let me see you,” Keith whispered softly, taking Lance’s hand and smiling serenely at him. Lance felt his thumb slide over the tip and he let out a grunt as his body twitched in response. “Open your eyes, baby.”

Lance did, keeping them steady on Keith as he arched and lowered his back to Keith’s movements. “I’m not gonna last,” he breathed. “Fuck me before I finish.”

Keith smirked and shook his head. “Go ahead and finish baby. I’ll bring you back.” He pumped his hand faster. Lance whined and covered his mouth, embarrassed that such a high pitched sound was leaving his throat. Keith moved his hand away and intertwined their fingers. “Sing for me, Lance.” Keith moved his hand faster, alternating between different pressures, speeds, occasionally swiping his thumb over the tip. Once he even dipped down to lick him from the base up and swirled his tongue at the top, which made Lance cry out and buck his hips. “Come on. Come on, Lance, let me hear you. Don’t hold back,” Keith murmured against his stomach.

He sped up, merciless as Lance panted and moaned, until suddenly Lance felt his entire body coil together until he burst and all he could hear was the rush of blood in his ears and the thumping of his heart. Slowly, he came back down and was aware of Keith’s lips on his chest, aware of his arm moving to relieve himself next. Before Lance could offer his help, Keith was grunting and crouching over Lance as he came.

Lance had masturbated before. He actually felt he was pretty in tune with his body. Orgasms weren’t exactly a new feeling, but…. This had been at the hands of someone else- literally. Somehow it felt so much more intense having this electrifying feeling pulled out of him from someone else, someone so beautiful and wonderful and lovely as Keith.

“Tell me when you’re ready,” Keith whispered breathlessly, nuzzling his shoulder. He pressed kissed to Lance’s jaw until he reached his lips and ran his hands through Lance’s hair. Lance wrapped his arms around him, pulling him impossibly closer. “You okay?”

“I’m perfect,” Lance answered.

Keith chuckled and nodded. “You are.”

Lance blushed and opened his eyes. “You’re cheesier than me.”

Keith laughed and kissed him again. After a while, Lance pushed his hips up against Keith, ready for whatever came next. Keith pulled away from him and sat back, running his hands up Lance’s thighs. He leaned down slowly, pressing his lips just under Lance’s bellybutton, letting out a small warm breath that made Lance sigh. He moved a little lower and pressed another kiss, this time letting his tongue lick at the skin before blowing a little air against him. Then he slid down to his thigh, pressing a small kiss there before grazing his teeth against the skin and biting, making Lance take a few rapid deep breaths.

“You doing okay, babe?” Keith whispered between the kisses he placed in the inside of his thighs.

“Yeah,” Lance sighed with a smile. “I’m okay. Keep going.” He hesitated for a moment, unsure before remembering how important it was to Keith for Lance to feel like he could talk to him. “Hey, Keith?” Keith looked up and hummed, moving his hands to safer areas of his body, waiting. It made Lance smile, and he moved his hands back to where they had been. “I just wanted to ask if you could also tell me what I can do to make you feel good? It’s not all about me. Like you said, it has to be mutual.”

Keith chuckled and leaned over to pull him into a kiss. “Yeah, I can do that. But right now, I’m focused on you.” He kissed his neck and hummed before adding, “I do like when you play with my hair though.”

“I can do that,” Lance said, threading his fingers with Keith’s hair and tousling it playfully. Keith laughed and kissed him again, biting Lance’s lower lip before licking it in apology and pulling back to return to his thighs.

He was being slow about it, so Lance hadn’t realized he was moving closer and closer to his entrance until he was actually there, tongue pressed tentatively, making Lance gasp.

“I’m good,” Lance breathed before Keith could pull away and ask. Keith chuckled and put his hands to the back of Lance’s thighs, pushing up until his knees almost touched his chest. He squeezed affectionately and went back to gently licking. Lance bit his lip, an occasionally letting out a satisfied moan.

It wasn’t particularly mind-blowing or anything, but it definitely didn’t feel bad. Not with Keith’s hands sliding up and down the back of his thighs, squeezing and pushing to spread his legs further, with his tongue seeming to know all the ways to make Lance’s breath hitch.

And then Keith started sucking. His tongue started prodding. Lance grunted and shut his eyes, letting his hands find Keith’s hair. He wasn’t sure if he should tug or just hold or run his hands through it, but once Keith pulled one hand away and pressed teasingly along the rim, Lance found his hands pulling Keith in while holding onto him like a lifeline. Keith let out a groan and pressed harder which made Lance let out a long moan.

Keith pushed his finger in. Like the last time, it hadn’t felt particularly good or bad, but Keith wasn’t just shoving his finger in and out. He was doing some circular motion, keeping him wet with his tongue so it didn’t feel so rough and rubbery.

Keith used his other hand to grab one of Lance’s wrists, signaling for him to let go. He pulled back and Lance was ridiculously pleased with the flushed look on Keith’s face and the way he was breathing heavily, looking as spaced out as Lance felt.

He leaned back down to bite Lance’s ass, making him yelp and then burst into laughter.

 “What was that for?” he laughed.

“You’re just so irresistible,” Keith said with a smile. “Still good?”

“Mm, yeah,” Lance answered. Keith nodded and Lance felt a slight stretch which made him hold his breath.

Keith’s free hand slid up his belly to his chest. “Breathe,” he said gently. Lance did, and he moaned as Keith’s fingers slid in. He began to move, and it didn’t hurt, but Lance wasn’t entirely sure what he was doing. He couldn’t tell exactly, just… feel.

Then Keith flicked his wrist and Lance gasped as he gripped the covers and threw his head back.

“There we go,” Keith mused, moving his fingers so sometimes he was stretching Lance and sometimes he was rubbing that spot Lance could never find for himself.

Lance felt heat spread in tendrils through his legs, through his torso, branching out to his chest, flooding his neck and face. He didn’t want Keith to stop because not knowing when Keith would and wouldn’t hit his prostate made the feeling so much better.

He squirmed and bit his lip and heard his breaths come out in pants as Keith worked him open. It felt so much better, he felt so much more pliant, and way less afraid. But then, how was Keith so good at this?

“Hey, babe?” he choked out breathlessly. Keith hummed, not ceasing his motions. “How many times have you done this?”

That made him stop. Lance whined at the lack of stimulation, but pulled himself up on his elbows to look at Keith. Keith looked confused and flustered. “Are you really asking me that… right now?”

Lance shrugged. “I won’t get mad…. I don’t think. If it’s reasonable. I just….” He took a breath and huffed. “We never talked about that. You know my past in the bedroom. I don’t know anything about yours.”

“And you wanna talk about it now.”

Lance shrugged again. “It’s just gonna eat at me if I don’t know.” Keith hesitated. “You said we should be able to talk to each other, right?”

He chuckled and nodded. “Yes, I did.” He slipped his fingers back in. “I’ve had one boyfriend. But I messed around a bit. Usually switching my position. But those were all quick fucks and drunk nights. With the boyfriend…. He cheated on me. But that was back in high school.” Lance tried his best to focus on the serious words as Keith pressed the pads of his fingers against his insides. “And he kind of forced me into it. Pulled the whole, if you don’t have sex with me, you don’t love me bullshit. But he never told me he loved me. And after we had sex, I never wanted to tell him.” Keith pulled him forward and kissed him, moving his fingers fast enough to make Lance shudder. “You’re the first person I’ve wanted to do this with that means something to me. I love you so much, and that’s why I want to be sure this is all okay for you. You’re different for me, and I want to be different for you.”

Lance’s chest was heaving, and the burst of fluttery butterflies he felt all over made him blush more than he was. “You are different. I love you.” Keith smiled and laid him down.

Lance felt another stretch, and he assumed Keith had added another finger. Still, it didn’t hurt, and the way his fingers opened him up actually felt good. He found himself clenching his hands around the comforter and pillow, breathing heavily through his nose and clenched teeth. Keith’s other hand moved back to Lance’s length, giving him slow strokes that weren’t enough to push him over the edge, but enough to make him let out little grunts to suppress the whines that were actually building in him.

Keith stopped stroking him, but continued fingering him, changing the angle as he settled between Lance’s legs, propped up on one elbow which was wrapped around Lance’s leg. Keith’s mouth attached to his inner thigh and Lance jerked upward, feeling tendrils of electricity spread through him. He pulled himself up slightly, enough to watch as Keith left hickeys against his thigh. He could see his arm moving as he pulled his fingers in and out, crooking them a few times each time he pushed in.

Keith opened his eyes, looking up to meet Lance’s heated gaze and he grazed his teeth along his skin, his canine teeth sharp against his skin, but it felt so fucking good Lance couldn’t help the shaky, “ _O-oh,”_ that he let out. Keith smiled smugly and Lance leaned back enough to support his weight on his elbows.

Then he started rolling his hips forward in time with Keith’s fingers, managing to reach an even deeper part of him. Keith’s smile faded, he pulled his head up slightly, intrigued by the sight of Lance fucking himself with his fingers, head thrown back as the unsynchronized movement created a new unexpected rhythm. He shuffled back up to hold Lance’s waist, and Lance wrapped an arm around him, pushing his fingers into his hair. He pulled Keith closer until his head was resting in the crook of his neck, teeth biting down and licking sun-kissed skin. Lance moaned and stuttered his hips, letting his mouth fall open.

He let out desperate gasps, feeling his body overheat, but he didn’t want Keith to move away. Instead, he held him closer, burrowing his own face in the crown of his head, raven hair clinging to his lips as he pressed his cheek against Keith.

“I th-think I’m… ah, g-good,” he breathed out, unwilling to stop the motions of his body despite wanting more. Keith pulled his hand away and pulled Lance into a kiss as he laid him down across the mattress. “I love you,” Lance whispered against his lips, putting his hands on either side of Keith’s face.

Keith hummed and smiled, shutting his eyes as he pressed into Lance’s hand, letting his tongue dart out to lick at Lance’s lips. “Lift your legs up for me, baby,” he whispered. He pressed his hand to the back of Lance’s thighs, guiding him. Lance stopped when his knees hit his shoulders. “Tell me if we need to stop, okay? If something feels wrong or-”

Lance pulled him into a kiss and tangled his hands in his hair. “I _know.”_ He pulled back and ran the pads of his fingers across Keith’s cheekbone. “I’m not scared anymore. There’s nothing in my mind but you.” He paused, letting his palm rest against Keith’s cheek, tilting him enough to meet his eyes. “And if you need to stop, if something isn’t okay for you, I want you to tell me too.”

Keith smiled and nodded, leaning in to kiss him. He pulled away, much to Lances confusion until he heard the tear of the packet the condom was in. He waited, watching as Keith put it on. Keith caught his eyes and smiled shyly, cheeks turning red.

“Why are you blushing?” Lance asked with a chuckle.

“You’re staring.” Lance raised an eyebrow and snorted. Keith looked at him and shook his head, obviously trying to ignore how flustered he felt. He leaned down and began leaving a trail of kisses up his torso and chest, nipping at his jawline until he reached Lance’s lips. “I love you,” he murmured.

Before Lance could answer, he felt his breaths get cut off as Keith pushed into him slowly. He took a few shaky breaths as he got used to the feeling, holding onto Keith’s shoulders. He broke out in a sweat, nervous and needy at the same time. Keith was breathing heavily in his ear, whispering and occasionally pressing kisses to his neck.

“O-oh _fuck,_ Keith,” Lance managed to choke out. “God, _yes._ ”

“Fuck, Lance, you’re so… fuck.” Keith took a moment to catch his breath and pulled up to rest his forehead against Lance’s. “Okay?”

Lance nodded. “You can move,” he breathed.

Keith nodded and pulled his hips back, making Lance tilt his head back and gasp. He bit down on his lip as Keith pushed back in slowly. Lance could feel everything. Keith placed kisses wherever his lips could reach Lance’s skin.

Lance looked at him and wrapped his arms around him, their lips brushing with each slow thrust, their breath intermingled, and their moans molding into the other’s.

“F-Faster, Keith,” Lance breathed. “I’m okay.”

Keith kissed him desperately, his tongue tasting every part of Lance’s mouth as he started to push into him a little quicker. Lance groaned and sunk his nails into Keith’s shoulder, anchoring himself. He heard Keith hiss and immediately let go, but then Keith pulled back from the kiss and stared down at him breathlessly.

“Do that… again.”

Lance bit his lip and grasped for leverage on Keith’s back, feeling the curve and clench of his spine as he moved beneath his hands. Keith’s eyes shut and he rolled his hips into Lance a little faster.

Lance could feel the ball of heat building in his stomach, the clench of his muscles aching for release. He wrapped his legs around Keith, using them to support himself as he bucked his hips against Keith. Suddenly Keith was using one hand to grip Lance’s thigh, stilling him.

“Don’t clench,” he breathed. “Won’t last.”

Lance grumbled as Keith slowed down, regaining himself. “We have all day,” he pointed out. Keith smirked and pushed his hair back, which should’ve been illegal because he was already naked on top of Lance, fucking him, he _did not_ need to do the hair thing and make himself fifty times hotter.

Ah, but he was Lance’s boyfriend which meant Lance didn’t have to hold back. He grasped desperately at Keith, pulling him back down for a kiss, using the heels of his feet to prod him back into moving. He pushed his hands through his hair, tugging harshly when Keith pushed in harder. He heard Keith moan and felt one of his hands trailing down his side to his leg to keep it hiked up. Lance kept his grip on his raven hair and struggled to steady his breathing as Keith sped up and pushed his leg up more, creating the slightest change in the angle, but enough to hit that perfect spot for Lance.

He moaned so loud, he turned his head away and screwed his eyes shut, not wanting to see Keith’s reactions to the noises he was making. He could hear the bedframe thudding against the wall, the springs of the bed creaking and snapping under them.

“Let me hear you,” Keith encouraged in his ear. “I love the way you sound, please, baby.”

Lance felt his teeth tug on his earlobe and he opened his mouth to let out a string of curses. Keith smiled against his neck then sat up, using his hand to keep Lance bent in half as he fucked him faster, leaving Lance breathless and dizzy.

_So close, so close, so fucking close._

“F-fuck, Keith, there,” Lance groaned. “There, right there, fuck.”

“Tell me what you want,” Keith growled, obviously trying to keep himself steady.

“D-Don’t stop, fuck _please,_ don’t stop Keith,” Lance babbled, feeling so close to tears because he was so close to release he just needed to feel that. “Harder, _oh God harder.”_

The pace slowed as Keith rammed into him, fucking him into the bed, watching with lustful eyes as Lance clawed at the sheets and pillows. A light sheen of sweat covered Lance’s body and it was getting harder to keep a grip on his legs, but Keith had to slow down anyway.

Lance groaned, frustrated as Keith slowed and leaned over him, marking his chest with hickeys and bite marks. “Keith, why’d you stop?” he panted. “I was so close.”

Keith chuckled and kissed his cheek. “Because I want this to last.” Lance huffed but couldn’t help the laughter that bubbled in him as he felt Keith’s hands slowly trace up his sides and along his arms. “You’re so fucking incredible. I can’t believe I’m lucky enough to be with you.”

Lance could feel himself blushing, but he just kissed Keith’s neck, letting his tongue lick stripes up to his jawline. “I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of telling you I love you,” Lance murmured. “Oh-a-ah!” he yelped slightly as Keith pushed back in.

“You okay? Did I hurt you?”

“No, I’m okay, I just… little warning next time,” he said with a laugh.

Keith smiled and nodded, apologizing with lazy kisses. He pulled back and stood off the bed, pulling at Lance’s legs until he was at the edge. “Okay, here we go,” Keith said as he started at a slow pace again.

Lance panted as Keith moved, his noises getting louder as Keith slowly picked up speed. He reached down to add a little more stimulation, but Keith gripped his hands and pinned them to the mattress. “Keith, _please,_ ” he begged. “Faster, I’m so close.” Instead, Keith pulled away completely. Lance almost screamed. “God fucking dammit, Keith!” he growled. He scrambled to sit up, yanking Keith into a feral kiss before toppling him onto the bed and straddling him.

“Whoa,” Keith breathed. “Wait, oh, _fuck,”_ Keith sighed, his eyes rolling to the back of his head as Lance sunk down onto him. “Lance, fuck, yeah, just like that.” Keith watched with hazy eyes, biting his lip as Lance pulled himself up with his thighs and sunk back down onto Keith over and over, using his shoulders for leverage. “Fuck, you feel so perfect,” he growled, gripping onto Lance’s hips harder.

“Can’t believe- I gotta- _fuck_ \- ride you… to get what I want,” he panted.

Keith’s hands left his hips and gripped his arms, moving them from his shoulders, making Lance falter. “Really?” he questioned, his voice low enough to send shivers through Lance.

Suddenly, Lance was being swept up, pressed against the wall as Keith held him up by his legs. He could see the bulge of his biceps from the exertion of holding Lance up, but Keith didn’t seem to mind. Instead, he started fucking Lance faster and harder than before, leaving Lance with his mouth gaping. His head thudded against the wall with each thrust, and he yanked desperately at Keith’s hair, pulling him closer.

“Is this what you want?” Keith hissed against his lips.

Lance couldn’t talk, he just nodded and let half-curses and snippets of Keith’s name fall from his lips. He could feel Keith brushing against his prostate with each hard thrust, and he felt completely at his mercy as Keith’s mouth latched onto his shoulder, biting and moaning as Lance pulled at his hair.

Lance held onto Keith as he felt the support of wall disappear. Keith tossed him back onto the bed and clambered over him almost hungrily.

“Keith, please, I want to come,” Lance begged, feeling tired and pent up. Keith had already built him up and stopped before Lance could finish so many times and he just wanted to feel that release.

“I’ve got you, baby,” Keith promised, kissing him in a gentler manner, using one hand to push his hair away. He pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Ready?” Lance nodded quickly. Keith smiled and pushed into him again, keeping a steady pace that wasn’t slow, but it wasn’t like he’d been against the wall either.

Lance could feel the press of Keith’s lips, he could feel the way his hand caressed the different part of him he could touch, he felt the way his breath hitched when Lance tugged at his hair or left another set of scratches down his back. He’d never felt this responsive during sex before, had never felt so fully encompassed by someone. He’d never felt so sure or so good about anything as he did about being with Keith. And Keith had been so patient, so understanding. He wanted to be different. And he really was.

“Lance?” Lance looked up at Keith, humming questioningly. “Why are you crying?”

“I’m not,” he said with a smile. Keith frowned and kissed a runaway tear away. Lance shook his head and wrapped his arms around Keith. “I’m okay. I’m just really in love with you.” He kissed his frown and wrapped his legs around his torso. “I promise I’m okay. Keep going.”

Keith hummed and did as he was told, prodded by the sweet sound Lance made, the way he fumbled for something to ground himself with. He chose the bed frame which only made it thud harder against the wall.

Suddenly, Lance was breathing heavily, panting out Keith’s name, begging him not to stop, to go harder, to go deeper, there _right there._ Keith buried his face in his neck, wanting to hide the sounds of need he was making, hoping he would last long enough to have Lance finish first.

Lance was getting louder with each arrhythmic thrust, finding Keith’s hand among the covers to intertwine with his own as he felt his legs begin to shake.

“ _Faster, fast- there, fuck, fuck, fuck, Keith,”_ he shouted, muffled by his hand and the thuds of the bed against the wall, and the desperate sound of skin against skin.

Lance felt his entire body tense and suddenly he was shaking everywhere, feeling waves of pleasure roll through him. He could feel Keith still thrusting into him, feel his hot, heavy breaths against his neck as he chased after his own release. Each thrust hit his prostate, making him sensitive, but it felt so good, he couldn’t bring himself to ask Keith to stop.

Lance started to put his legs down, but Keith quickly hiked it back up. “I’m almost-” He couldn’t finish his sentence before he was hunching over Lance, grunting and breathing in the scent of Lance’s sweaty body beneath him. “Fuck,” Keith breathed, pulling out but not bothering to get off of Lance. He laid his head against his chest, probably hearing the way it hammered obnoxiously, unable to settle back down to a slower pace. “Lance?” He hummed, running his fingers through Keith’s now damp hair. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” he answered with a smile, intertwining their legs.

He felt tired, but he also felt sticky. He wanted to shower, but he wasn’t sure his limbs could handle much more exertion just yet. So he just laid there with Keith.

“ _Te amo, te amo, te amo, te amo,”_ he repeated over and over. Keith let out a sound pretty close to a giggle as he wrapped himself around Lance.

Before he realized it, he’d fallen asleep, and Keith was waking him up, urging him to take a bath.

“I already drew the water, babe. Come on.” Lance grumbled and stood up, letting Keith lead him into the bathtub.

“Come in with me,” he said sleepily.

Keith smiled and kissed his forehead. “Gimme a sec.” He disappeared for a while, and Lance wasn’t sure what he was doing, but the water was warm still so he didn’t want to get out to check. Then he was back and sliding into the water with him.

Lance wrapped his arms around him and kissed his shoulder. “You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met,” he said.

Keith looked at him and gave him a dopey smile. “You’re all high on post-sex hormones,” he said with a laugh.

Lance shrugged. “Maybe. But it’s true.” Keith shook his head and kissed him. Then he helped Lance wash off and playfully lathered his hair, making Lance feel giddy. Lance felt like he was completely infatuated again. He was in love with Keith’s body, with his voice, with his smile. It felt so new but so comfortable too. It was incredible.

By the time they got out, Lance saw that Keith had brought some warm lounging clothes into the bathroom to change into. When they were changed, Keith waited for Lance to leave the bathroom first, which confused Lance until he opened the door.

The living room had been rearranged into a fort of blankets and pillows.

“Did you do this?” he asked as a smile spread on his face. Keith nodded and took his hand, leading him into the fort. “I love this so much, oh my God,” he laughed, noting the fluffy blankets inside for them to cuddle under as they watched TV. “You made me a fort,” he teased, poking Keith in the side. “You’re such a softie.”

“Just for you,” Keith said with crimson cheeks. “Wanna binge old Disney movies?”

Lance smiled wider and nodded. Keith set up Netflix and then settled into Lance’s arms, both of them covered by warm blankets as the sun began to set.

Junior year would start the next the day. It was strange to think of how much had changed over what felt like such a short time. From the stupid little backstage moments with Rolan in high school to the several sex mishaps, he never really thought he’d be where he was now. With someone as wonderful as Keith, in a little fort of their own, watching Disney movies after the best sex he’d ever had.

It was nice to know that he’d gotten it right this time. And the firsts he had with Keith were far more valuable to him than the screwups from before.


End file.
